So I had already wrote a series of essays about the boy I loved before, but something happened, I went a little bit psycho and deleted everything I had wrote.

Basically, I am looking for closure.

It might sound a little odd, but for me writing about how our story ended it´s a way of assimilating everything and learning from the experience.

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I think everything finished before it even started because we did not have a good beginning and after you read our prologue you might guess why.

So everything started as a prank, as I talked about it in my last article, I really did not like you until you started getting in touch with me. I mean, you were cute, a nice guy, intelligent, and different from the bunch of guys you hang out with, but there was another boy and I though I would never get over him.

Plot-twist: I did

What went on with this other guy was that he was one of my best friends and a our friend group found out I liked him, so they would not stop bothering us, it became very uncomfortable, he stopped talking to me so one of my friends started bothering me with you in order for everyone to forget what had happen with the other boy. After this, the gossip went out and a friend bet me I would never ever be in a relationship with you, I bet I would, and the game started.

As you can see, I basically started liking you because I did not want to lose a bet.

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And for what I now know, you started liking me for not very different reasons. You liked another girl, this other girl rejected you, then you found out I liked you and suddenly you liked me too. But the cute girl returned and all of a sudden you stopped liking me.

The saddest part of this is that I´m still wondering what I did wrong. We did not live the best love story but I like to think I did felt something even though how the things begun. What I´m still trying to understand is if you felt anything at all because you seemed so nice and interested on me and all of a sudden you were in love with this other cute girl.

I offered you my friendship from the beginning even before anything else, but you rejected it. You were all about the idea of getting to know each other and see what would happen. You made me believe I had a chance with you.
And then you rejected me again but this time you shut me out completely from your life without even explaining me why, so the only explanation I had was the one I already explained. And guess what? It turned out to be true.

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I got carried away with that last paragraph
Sorry if what I´m writing does not make any sense, he did not make any sense either.

I know I´m only talking about how it started and how it finished. I do not talk about what happened in between because I simply do not want to remember and keep on wondering if everything he did was planned to make the other girl jealous or if everything was a lie. Because that is another matter I can´t quite understand.

The only reason I can come up with of why pretending to like me is that one, you wanted to make the other girl jealous. I know I said I started liking you because that stupid bet but then I started to know you and you seemed to have everything I was looking for in a guy. And I can´t imagine how someone is capable of lying about the deep shit you told me about your life, how could someone be so messed up to play with a girl that way, to share his dreams, secrets, fears, etc. to then disappear from her life without an explanation and start dating a girl who she is related to.

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Deep down I wish I got everything wrong, I wish there is another part of the story I have not heard. That the possibility of you liking me still exists, that my theories were not real and that everything is not as messed up as it seemed. But we are not in a novel or in a movie and I want to find something real not something made-up

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Any comments, suggestions, stories are welcome.
Thank you for reading my crazy thoughts about my love life.