I realized while writing my last article literally two seconds ago, that I don't think i've established something. I'm kinda gay.

Bisexual, to be more specific.

I just want to take a moment, and help those who might be struggling with their sexuality, by telling my story.

I grew up in a really conservative home. My parents are very "Religious".
I would consider myself a Christian as well as them, but when reading the Bible further, I don't think God hates gays. I truly believe he made us this way. Have you ever seen a gay couple and just knew they were made for each other?
Exactly.
I think there are way too many perfectly matched gay relationships to be considered "wrong".

Anywho, so I think the first time I started to even question my sexuality was in the Sixth Grade. Crazy, I know. But hear me out.
There was this guy I always passed in the halls who I think was in Eighth Grade at the time, that I thought was insanely cute.
But one day, at lunch, I happened to see him walk into the girl's bathroom. I told my friends, because I thought it was super weird, and came to find out he was Transgender. Or as my so-called "friends" put it, he "Thought" "she" was Transgender.
I thought there was something wrong with me for having a crush on a "girl" and I brushed it off. I still saw him in the hallways now and then, and tried not to look at him. I was raised to believe that these things were all wrong, so I called the poor guy a girl, and moved on.

Then, I think the next instance, was in my Freshman year of High School, when my friend I had known for almost two years, told me she was bisexual. At this point in my life, I was more accepting of all things gay and such, and knew that's who she was, and had always been. We always joked about being gay lovers around our guy friends, and for awhile it was funny, until she spent the night at my house once. We were both in my bed, and she said something like: "Now that we're alone, I can make love to you peacefully." She said it like she was joking, but looking back, I don't think she was completely kidding.

Flash forward to two years later, (last year) when I found Halsey and Ruby Rose. I had started listening to Halsey's music secretly at school and on the bus, because I knew my parents wouldn't approve, and when I found out what she looked like, I was immediately hooked, but I still didn't come to terms with the fact that I was also into girls.
And Ruby Rose... Holy shit. I'm not going to go into detail, but I knew with all my heart and soul that I would date her, and I thought she was hot, but I still was on the fence about being kinda gay.

Then, I found this band called PVRIS, (Pronounced "Paris") and again, I loved this band, and when I found out what the band looked like in real life, I couldn't take my eyes off of their frontwoman, Lynn Gunn. There were two other people in the band, and they are GUYS, but I didn't want them, I knew I wanted Lynn. They were all quite attractive, but I knew that if for some odd reason I had to choose, I would choose Lynn in a heartbeat. When I found out she was gay, I literally jumped for frickin joy. And ever since, I've kinda just come to terms with the fact that I am into boys, girls, and everyone in between.

That's my story.

I know there's no real plot or twists here, but this has been a war in my head for a long time, and it's good for me to now have come to terms with it.

I still haven't told my parents, an I honestly don't think I ever will, unless I marry a woman.
I've only told one friend in my life, and she's kinda gay too. She's the only person in my life right now that I think is "okay with the gay".
I haven't even told my Best Friend.

But I hope I have inspired you today. (:

Love is not a choice.

~Laurynn