i see people – grinning, laughing.
i see myself crying, upset
but i feel so empty.

i hear those people,
“you’re stunning!”
“you’re so clever!”
i don’t listen to those people.

because those people are
beautiful, skinny, smart.
they’re not what i am
they’re not,
ugly, fat, talentless.

i look in the reflection and see this girl,
“you’re worthless! you’re disgusting!” she screams.
i listen to her. i believe her.

you try and fix yourself
no food for a week!
you fail to do so,
because you always fail

again you try,
stick your fingers down your throat!
you cry in the bathroom,
because you’re weak

“you can’t change” she says.
she points at you.
at your stomach, your arms, your thighs.
you’re going to be this fat forever.

“you can’t change” she says again
she points at you.
at your head, your brain, your mind
you’re going to be this horrible forever.

because you can’t change
you will never change