Hello, little Parisians at heart!

As I am a strong Paris lover too, and kind of a desperate case of a Parisian at heart, I thought about writing a humoristic guide about how to be a Parisian!
Obviously, and you know it like me, all Parisians are not like this! Only a few, to be honest… The myth of Parisian people is largely untrue. You find in Paris, people you may find in Barcelona, in Brussels, in Hamburg, in Amsterdam, in London… It has a lot to do with the typical East-European lifestyle, to be honest!
To write this article, I tried to put aside the clichés and to base myself only on what I observed while in Paris. But I must say I sometimes came back to them, because I observed them often, sorry haha!

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You hate Paris, but it's still your favorite city.

You hate people in a hurry, the crowded métro, the noisy neighbours, the pollution, the irritated passers-by, the traffic congestion, the hordes of tourists,... But, let's be honest: could you live elsewhere? You love other cities, the countryside, the mountains, the sea, but Paris remains the number one place in your heart.
And even if you hate Paris in many ways, you can't help but repeat and sing about how beautiful this city is and defend it against those who speak badly about it. After all, it's the most beautiful city in the world, the rest of the world says it.

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You live in Paris.

Yeah, basic. You understood that saying "I live in Paris" is a magic sentence that instantly makes people's eyes shine wherever they are. You also know that it's very ugly to lie, pretending to live in Paris while you live in Evry, Meaux, Créteil, or even Saint-Denis or Neuilly... You know, just to look class. But sometimes, it's for the good cause: housing is cheaper there, and you know it very well. And then, fooling a few never killed anyone…

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You do not often visit monuments, museums and exhibitions.

Let's be honest, you visit a monument every year, just because your Belgian or Breton family visits you, and it's the opportunity ...
But, being Parisian, you must take the opportunity to be surrounded by artistic and cultural possibilities and to meet the inspiration! Take advantage of the lower touristic seasons to visit the museums, the artistic evenings, the big buildings which allow you to have another look on the city!

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You don't go to the well-known places.

To visit and appreciate the architecture, yes. To fall into tourist traps, no.
The Café de Flore, that's not for you! As a Parisian, you are not in those places that everyone knows. It's too busy for you. You know the places of the secret and trendy Paris, or you like to make others believe.
But you therefore regularly queue. Well yes, if you got to these secret and trendy places, you will inevitably find many of your clones also going to these places. So, you have to queue. Not without multiple sighs and complaints, but it's worth waiting for a brunch in a very fashionable place. You're not for one more contradiction, it's also part of your charm.

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You meet your friends in cafés.

You like to meet your friends to talk over a coffee, to share the latest gossip and news because it's been a long time since you've seen each other, and most of all because you don't have time to do anything else.
And when your friends suggest you an evening out, it must be not far from your neighbourhood, no but oh.

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You move like a Parisian.

You know the map of Paris at your fingertips, as well as the map of the 20 arrondissements.
You use public transport because driving in Paris is annoying and it's super expensive. But the thing is you hate to take the métro. So you walk (always very fast!) or use the bus, the tram or the Vélib'. At worst, you use your moped, even for 100 meters... But hey, it's always more convenient than the car.

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You hate the métro.

Even if you are in a good mood and your day begins wonderfully well, as soon as you dive into the corridors of the métro, you can't stand anything anymore. You spend three minutes waiting for your train and you are already starting to sighing. Someone pushes you and you make look indignantly at him. Then you quickly become a fan of the much appreciated "LET THE PEOPLE GO OUUUUT". Or, to avoid getting upset, you're isolating yourself, your headphones on your ears, which is wise. No wonder you prefer other means of transport...
And if you ever have the courage (or the obligation) to take the métro, either you have a Navigo pass because you take the métro regularly, or you fraud when you have to take it occasionally. You are not going to queue with tourists for a simple métro ticket!

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You tolerate tourists.

It must be admitted: by saying everywhere that Paris is the most beautiful city in the world and to maintain this myth of the Parisian woman, we must accept that some want to come check. So you smile seeing them wander with their big cameras, be planted by bunches in the middle of the sidewalk while you're late for work, be huddled around a tourist guide in the middle of a park while you wanted to take a nice picture for once (admit it, sometimes you listen to learn some interesting things), get on the metro already so crowded that you can't breathe,... Then, as you are sick of "Excuse me, can you tell me what line of métro I have to take?" And "Sorry Madame, can you tell me where is the Eiffel Tower?", you are so disagreeable with them that you contribute to the rotten image of Parisians abroad. Oops.

You are grumpy in all circumstances.

That's what we just said: the real Parisian doesn't smile, rarely. You don't say hello in the public transport, and you jump when a traveler dares to greet the bus driver. And when someone is laughing, you even give him/her the look. You just want silence, please... When the bus is crowded, you walk on other traveler's feet without excusing yourself and sigh (always elegantly) when you have to get off the bus to let people out. And if the others don't walk fast enough for you, you say "Sorry!", which is anything but an excuse. It is understandable, there are many tourists that must be supported, as well as other Parisians in a bad temper, which rub off on you.

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You cut everything you can.

You find that short conversations and answers sow suspense and curiosity. And you can cut your appointments off because "Sorry, but I have to go. I'm so busy right now! ". And you cut short all the words you can: you say "Saint-Mich" for Saint-Michel, "the 10" for line 10, "Saint Ger" for Saint Germain-des-Prés, "the Eif tower" for the Eiffel Tower", "Les Champs" for the Champs-Elysées. It's cooler, you now.

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You are elegant in all circumstances.

The Parisian is elegant, it is known worldwide. And you can't bend the rule. Never commit the slightest sartorial blunder, unless you have a métro delay on current trends, or if this so-called odd is totally wanted. It is an art, you know.
So, you think to bring a pair of flat shoes in your bag, like ballerinas, derbies or light sneakers. Because walking in stilts up the Rue de Rivoli at night is not easy.
And the little extra: you keep your sunglasses in the métro, because you're bothered by the artificial light and life is too short to store them and take them out in 10 minutes.

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You practice window shopping.

What's the point of living in the world capital of fashion, if not to enjoy it? But considering the exorbitant prices practiced by the brands, it is necessary to act wisely. The three steps that follow are there for that.
First, you track the good stuff: you look at trends, models and prices.
Then, you do the fitting: you enter the shops to try your favorite models among those you have spotted. Only to try. The goal is to know exactly your size in each brand, for each model. But sometimes, you have to pretend to be undecided, make a pretty smile to the saleswoman and thank her for her patience and kindness. Because a Parisian is a bitch, but a polite and well-mannered one.
Finally, you find yourself on private sales on the Internet and destocking stores. This is where the tracking and fitting make sense: buy without fear of ending up with a clothing at the wrong size.
Of course, if you are able to afford it and your goal is to have the last model before the others, the traditional window shopping allows you to leave a shop with pretty shopping bags full of hands to make turn around the other girls you meet in the street.

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You have a signature accessory.

No matter what it is, you owe yourself to wear a piece of clothing that represents you: a jacket, a scarf, a bag, a hair accessory, a jewel,... that you can wear with both jeans and ankle boots or with a dress evening and pumps.

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You picnic in the parks.

Whether parks, gardens or squares, you know every corner of greenery closest to your neighbourhood. And you go there occasionally. When it's sunny. And that you have time. Either with friends or alone with a book or pastry bought in your favorite bakery. And you have the feeling of taking your annual dose of greenery, fresh air and vitamin D. It's good to be in nature! With a little luck, you can even come across a chair that is free!

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You cross the street where you do not have to.

So you carefully avoid pedestrian crossings because they are reserved for well-educated tourists and children. You like to live dangerously, and get your fill of adrenaline with the sound of horns and squealing tires. And you groan when the driver who makes you pass by obligation grumble at you. I swear, no embarrassment! They think the road belongs to them!

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You are yourself.

La Parisienne is a bit like the Avenue des Champs-Elysees, supposedly the most beautiful in the world. It's beautiful from afar, at night with all the lights. But when you're stuck in traffic congestion, or you're forced to slalom on the sidewalk between groups of tourists, it's just a long, congested, sloping artery lined with glitzy signs.
So, yes, out of the ten million inhabitants of Paris, these real Parisians are only a minority. And many girls living in Paris don't look like that.
Or so, we say that to reassure ourselves... Because now that you live in Paris or you feel at home, like me, when you spent twenty years spitting on the "Parisian bitches", we are afraid to become one, and we recognize ourselves (already!) in some of the above-mentioned clichés.
But after all, if we are able to feel ourselves drifting towards the clichés and we are afraid of this nightmarish slippage, it is perhaps that we still have what is lacking in the "true Parisian": humour and recoil on ourselves. And as long as we have that, we can consider ourselves saved. Even if you have a pair of emergency ballerinas at the bottom of your expensive bag.

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I had so much fun writing this article! I hope you enjoyed it and that real Parisian people are not offended, because I love you so much! And it's a bit true for everyone! ♡

Radiating Love !

@alaska_luna