hii bbys! It's Lauren with another article... And It's a little bit of a bummer...

(it's weird, all of my first articles, were so well received. And now my new ones barely get read :( It's okay tho, I'm just gonna start writing for me more... )

topic: why do I pretend to be everyone, but me?

I've got a problem...

deep breath

I'm obsessed with reinventing myself.

With each new friend, I almost become a new person. Tough, independent, and self-deprecating around one person, or sweet, shy, and dramatic around another.

With a flick of a switch, I'm a completely different person.

I act different, speak different, move different.

Even hug different, if at all.

Now, I'm not saying I have Multiple Personality Disorder

I just have... an affinity for personas

In fact, I have a couple theories, as of why, I enjoy this so much.

One

I'm scared, that if I show the true me.

I won't be accepted, or even that no one will like me as much...

So instead of being vulnerable.

I hide behind my persona, hoping that they won't realize it's an a act.

A mask

Two

It's an defense mechanism.

My personas, don't allow anyone to get close, to have a meaningful, honest relationship.

Because, if they can figure me out.

They can hurt me, or even worse

... leave me

That they will throw me away, like the trash I am.

And see me for the fake, manipulative person I am.

That the won't need me, like I need them... ♥

Three

Or maybe, I just enjoy being the chameleon.

That their really isn't anything wrong with me.

Maybe

Just maybe, I'm normal.

And that might,
just be the scariest thought of all...

;

-- a forgotten girl