Growing up i never had a lot of friends, if you even can call those assholes friends. They never accepted me the way i was so i started to change and play rolls in order to please them. i remember back then, when i was in elementary school, i always was the kind of friend who seemed weird. i was shy back then and scared to not fit in. i was so scared to say the wrong things, so instead of talking and saying what was on my mind i said nothing. i wanted to be invisible, because when you are quiet and simply just there people will leave you alone and won't pick on you, right? this is or better was the only logical explanation for me. But unfortunately people always find a reason to pick on you no matter how hard you try to fit in. so they still found reasons to make fun of me. they didn't bullied me they just said some things that were back than really mean. i know kids are mean but when you are shy you can't really stand up for yourself. i was to scared
to stand up for myself and then normally your friend stand up for you. or i think they should at least say something . But the thing was my so called friends were the ones who would make fun of me in front of everyone or laughed when someone would say something mean to me. i remember i was friends with two popular girls. but they just used me to hold their bags and do what they wanted me to do. both of them were fucking bitches but the one who got the most attention was the worst. The things she said to me were so mean that i still feel the pain in my chest when ever i think about it. she humiliated me in front of everyone and was never a real friend. Even though she was the one who humiliated me a lot and just treated me like a dog she wasn't the one who has hurt me the most when i was a child. it was my so called best friend, we became friends when i was in the first grade. On the first day of school she was sitting right beside me. we immediately became friends, best friends. we had a lot of fun and i was just myself around her ( even though she lied to me all the time ). but when we befriended those popular girls she started to compete with me when ever there was an opportunity. when ever those two girls wanted to play with her. she wouldn't play with me and would also exclude me out of the group. i remember one incidents clearly where they randomly wouldn't want to play with me for a few days, until one day were i had a dog plushie with me and my hair were open so those two popular girls and my "best friend" walking after them like a dog walked over to me and wanted to play with me again. they complimented my hair and i will never forgot the way my best friend looked at me. Her look was full of hate and jealousy. back then i didn't really understand what was up with her. i was just happy that my friends talked and played with me again. i know pathetic , right ? i was so naive and stupid. so as the time went by i wasn't friends anymore with those two popular girls and my best friend and i repeated the third grade (can you say that i don't know english isn't my first language ). we weren't in the same class anymore but we still saw each other every break. i also found new friends in my new class ( also assholes i played all the time games i didn't like and act extra nice to please them they still just used me and then got tired of me). so back to this best friend, after a while my best friend made a friend in her new class but she would always talk bad about her behind her back. she allways told me that i was her best friend and blablablabla. and then one day when we had a fight and didn't talked anymore. she just replaced me. she just replaced her best friend since first grade without a second thought. so after that my only friend back then was a girl from a lower grade that i was friends with in the kindergarden. ( her best friend also hat someone new so we would play together) she was a really nice girl no doubt but when my time in elementary school came to an end and i needed to go to another school our friendship came also to an end. i also moved so thank godness i didn't wanted to spent another 8 years with those little peace of shit from my (old ) hometown everyday until i graduiated ( they also often said some really stupid racist stuff soooo fuck them even if those comments weren't indent to be racist still not Cool). so i was really happy because i hoped that the next school wouldn't be filled with little assholes who don't know how you even spell decent. i was optimistic and was happy to have an new beginning. as i already said i was naive and from this point of my life i was forced to go to my personal living hell everyday....

this was the story of my time in elementary school i know no one cares about this shit i just wanted to share this

i don't know...

bye, humans
your cruel flowerwitch