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Part one of the Why I'm Like This series

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Hi! .。・:*:・(ꈍᴗꈍ)・:*:・。.

How are you, sweet stuff? I hope you're well. Once again, I'm in the mood of writing about some memories of mine. These aren't happy memories so be warned. This article can make you feel uncomfortable or it can make you feel like you're not the only one in the world 'struggling'. (long article ahead)

Everyone makes mistakes, right? They also learn from it. It is what it is.

You can make a mistake and get sweet candy from your mother who's laughing at your silly mistake and hug you till death with love. Or you can make a mistake that will haunt you forever and ruin you. In my case, the second one.

I was young. Very young. Take that into serious consideration. Young me was in this situation where my parents were no use. I was no use that time. Unbehaved and invisible.

I had primary school. Meaning that I got educated. I had a class. Meaning that I had classmates. There was this particular girl who was one of the few classmates of mine. (Let's call her Ko)

Ko and I were actually friends. We hung around sometimes and had fun together. Ko was the kind of girl who could be friends with everyone. She was really social and passionate. Everyone liked her. Even I did, honestly.

She had bad sides too. She was very easily jealous and when she was, she showed it clearly. One day, I got new slippers from my mother as a little gift. I loved them, since those were blue wedge-heeled slippers with white dots and they were decorated with colorful flowers.

I received a lot of compliments about them when I wore them for the first time to school. Ko told a lot of girls who were also in my class that she found them unbelievably ugly. Like dramatically speaking. One of the girls came up to me after school and told me Ko hated my slippers. From the corner of my eye I saw Ko and other girls walking away with their bikes. It was like Ko was scared that the girl was telling me this.

I ignored it and continued doing whatever I was doing for the next few days, but I couldn't ignore it any further. Ko would always complain about petty stuff others did. She had always something she could whine about, like a classmate getting an A+ for her presentation while Ko didn't think she deserved it. Yet, she didn't have anything to say to the teacher when our teacher asked what the classmate could have done better in her presentation. That was the whole reason why she received an A+. If you don't think it was well deserved then critize instead of childishly complaining afterwards.

This kept going for months and I was done hearing it. It was so annoying and wrong of her. Every rumor she spread (she spreads rumors like crazy) and every complain she had, I was done hearing any of it. What I did next was the mistake that changed my life. I told everyone.

I told every person she spreaded rumors or had complains about and I even made them worse. She told rumors that were a 100% rude, and I made it worse by retelling those rumors and adding a 100% rudeness myself. So everyone heard the 200% rude rumors about them. I basically made up some terrible rumors and said that Ko made those up.

Everyone was mad at Ko and I was hiding in the shadows being satisfied. Not for long. On a thursday morning a girl came up to Ko and asked her why she spread these rumors. The one I told that girl was a false one, so Ko got really confused claiming she didn't spread that rumor. I got a bit panicked when she told Ko that I told her this rumor.

Ko came up to me crying and asked me why I did what I did. I stayed calm and two girls joined Ko asking me too. I didn't know what to say back then. Ko had a lot of connections, even knowing the rumors the girls got Ko's back. It was like a bazillion people against one. Me. Alone.

We handled the situation with our teacher and I honestly thought it was settled that evening. I guess not. Ko's mother also came up to me and accused me as a negative influence on Ko. Ko's mother didn't like my parents and now, me neither. The mother's words hit me hard. She kept shouting that I was a disgrace. A grown-up woman telling a still growing CHILD this? Pathetic.

Me not having Ko as a friend anymore means I had nothing. I was alone once again. I had to survive sixth grade all by myself. It was a hard time for me full with pity and disappointment.

I know now that I should have handled it differently. Another old classmate,

(in case you read my 'Me having a crush?' article, this girl is actually Fendi)

who is still a good friend of mine, told me that she believed those rumors were true. She noticed it too that Ko was annoying.

Much to my disappointment, she never said anything about it to Ko. Ko won, I lost when I should have been the one who won. I made mistakes, but I learned from it myself. Like I said earlier, my parents were no use that time and didn't teach me that it's not okay doing what I did.

Till this day, I don't talk to Ko. I think we both know how we are. We're both a bit mature and less hateful towards eachother, but this has left a scar behind for me only and not us both. The rest of my sixth grade other parents accused me of doings some bad stuff, but that's a story for another day.

—Syden