Today, June 16th, marks the middle of the year, and I thought I would be interesting to look back at the past 6 months. When I look way back to the starting of January, it’s super clear to me that a lot has happened since then. The only thing that stayed static since the new year is my depression but I’m still working on that...

At the beginning of the year, my best friend announced her engagement to me and everyone else .It was something no one saw coming at all, but everyone still gave their support nevertheless. Initially, I was really excited for my friend, considering she was the first of anyone I knew from high school to get married. But unfortunately that excitement waned as I discovered the bullshit that comes with being a bridesmaid. One of my duties as a bridesmaid was to help out the bride and I had no problem in doing. The biggest problem I had was dealing with the rest of the bridesmaids, aka everyone in our circle of friends. While the other bridesmaids did help out with the preparations, at the same time, they acted selfish and childish. And the maid of honor was just completely useless, she didn’t do anything right. I had to throw my friend the bridal shower all by myself, even though that wasn’t my responsibility. With of the annoyingness that I had to deal with, I was already feeling disconnected from the group. I contemplated whether cutting my ties with the other girls and choose to make the final decision after the wedding. So a week after the wedding, I officially left the group. One of the biggest driving force for leaving when someone that I really cared about in that group said they didn’t want to be my friend anymore. That really hurt me and it still kinda stings, but it made it easier to leave the group.

This all happened between the beginning of January to the end of May. After all of this, June became my new month of new beginnings. I’m lucky to have other loyal friends that actually enjoy my company. It’s funny because they’re all guys and I pretty much lost a huge bulk of my female friends. I only have three now really. But the friends I do have right now, I cherish them and feel super blessed to have them in my life.

Even though the first half of 2018 has been rather depressing and stressful for me, I now feel more optimistic for the second half. It’s strange, but I feel like I have more strength to keep going and see my life change for the better.

Like it or not,
Midge <3