How can I tell people
How I feel
If I do not know
For sure
What I am feeling

And when you keep thinking
About coming out
To your friends
But they tell you stories
About people they know
Who came out recently
And when they say
They do not know
How they feel about that
When they say
They think it is okay
But only to a certain extent

Because then I think
To what extent
Will they still be my friends
If I tell them what I feel

Because how can I be honest
About my deepest hidden feelings
When I do not know
If they will accept me

I know it should not bother me
Because
‘True friends will take you as you are’
But I love my friends
And I do not want to lose them
And if that means
I have to hide my feelings
For a bit longer
I am okay with that

I guess one day
I cannot take it any longer
And I will tell them
But for now
I have to figure out
What my deepest hidden feelings
Really mean

- mvdg