Day Ten!
How Do I Feel About My Scars

Hello! :)

Scars. All over my left arm. Faded, but still to be seen. I don't hate them. I don't love them. Or do I?

My relationship with my cuts is very difficult, complex and it changes. My opinion altogether is that it depends on your mood, current situation, and other people. But it doesn't matter if I'm depressed or not, I never hate my scars. I own them and they are part of my history and life. I am not proud of them but if I blame myself every time I see them, my recovering would be impossible.

Sometimes I'm a little ashamed of them. I try to hide them because I don't want to go through that conversation. I really don't want people close to me to see them, because I'm afraid that it would change the way they see and treat me. I hate it when people patronize me or pity me. Pitying and playing nice is far away from love and support.

They are a constant reminder of my past and I look at them every day. It is possible that they hold me back somehow. And I have thought about covering them with a tattoo. But then again, I'm attached to them and feel strongly about them. I'm not sure if I'm ready to let them go.

I'm sorry for my lazy posting. I'm having problems with my health and been busy working. I know, there's no room for excuses. Still, I already said that if I feel uncomfortable writing I won't force myself. Let's hope that everything works out. Stress is not my best friend.

Thank You for reading! I hope you understand and be patient with me. Love you!

-SONJA xxx