I feel left alone quite quickly, even if it's not like that.
And I understand if that hurts you, it would hurt me, too.
I know that what I'm doing is everything but fair and I know that it's wrong, that it was wrong.
But I can't change it. Not anymore.
Belive me, I would, would do completely different, but it's always too late.
And I don't want any of this, never did.
But it overcomes me, possesses me and never let's me go.
And I want to leave it all behind but it's a part of me, a part I am afraid of but still hold on to.
And it will always stay, somewhere deep inside of me.
But I will not give it that power over me anymore.
Because I'm not like that anymore.
And I don't ever want to be like that again.