Dear Mommy… I can’t stand you.

❧ I know what you’re thinking, Mommy, I’m an angsty teen, I’m depressed and anxious, and I don’t mean this… But I do. Mommy, you drive me insane. You’re the cause of my stress. You act like I’m nothing. You treat me like crap.
❧ Mommy, why did you do this to me? I shouldn’t have these memories… I shouldn’t have to explain to my friends why I don’t want to see you again. I shouldn’t have to tell them that you never took care of me; or that you were worse to me than to my brothers.

❧ Why, Mommy? Why me? Is it because I’m not the daughter you wanted? Is it because I’m not that perfect little girl you dreamed of?
❧ Why did you do that, Mommy? Why did you hit me? Why do I have to ask my brother to make me dinner? Why are you different when Daddy isn’t home? How come I don’t get a bath until Daddy is here? How come you’re sitting on the couch while my brothers and I are dirty, starving, and alone?
❧ Mommy, I’m scared. I want to sleep in your room. Why not, Mommy? Don’t you want to comfort me? Okay, Mommy, I’ll go to my brother’s room.
Ouch, Mommy! That hurt my feelings.
❧ Mommy, isn’t my gift just wonderful? I made it just for you! But I don't think it's ugly, Mommy...
Mommy… I’m sad. Okay, I’ll call Daddy.
Mommy… I’m sick. Okay, I’ll call Daddy.
Mommy… I’m hungry. Okay, I’ll call Daddy.
Mommy… I’m hurt. Okay, I’ll call Daddy.

❧ Mommy, look at this big house! Oh, it makes you so happy! But, Mommy, Daddy bought you this house… And this couch… And this lamp… And this TV… Why can’t he buy himself something? This motorcycle makes Daddy so happy! Why do you hate it?
❧ Mommy look! Daddy got a puppy! What, you don’t like him? But he’s adorable! Look at his floppy ear!… But, Mommy, you have four cats… Why can’t we have a puppy?
❧ Mommy, I’m bleeding! No, not from there, from here! Oh, you want me to ask Daddy for a book? Okay! But, Mommy, I don’t understand… Okay, I’ll call Sammy… Sammy’s mommy says I’m a woman now! Mommy, aren’t you proud of me? Mommy… But it’s only eighteen-hundred… Okay, goodnight...
❧ Mommy, I made a cupcake just for you in class today! It’s got lemon pudding in it! Oh… Okay Mommy… I’ll let Daddy try it instead…
❧ Ow Mommy! Why did you do that? I thought you stopped… That hurt, Mommy. My cheek is red… My head hurts now. It’s okay Mommy… I won’t tell Daddy.
❧ But I need a coat! It’s freezing Mommy! Oh… You can have that expensive necklace, Mommy.

❧ Mommy, why is Daddy sleeping on the couch? Is it because he snores? I know, Mommy, it’s loud!
❧ Why did I hear this from Daddy, Mommy? Why did Daddy have to tell me?
❧ Mommy, why are you mad?
❧ But Mommy, that’s Daddy’s money! He worked so hard for it-… Yes, Mommy. Please don’t hit me.
❧ Mommy, why are you taking everything? That’s Daddy’s! Mommy, Grammy bought that for me! Oh… Okay, Mommy, you can sell it…
❧ Mommy, why are you with another man? You and Daddy just split… It’s okay, Mommy, I believe you.
❧ Mommy, why are you always with him?
❧ I love this blouse, Mommy! It’s only seven dollars!... But it’s summer... Okay, you can buy that coat instead…
❧ Oh, Mommy, I love this store! Oh, okay, we can go here. But wait, Mommy, this is a wedding ring store! Oh… Okay Mommy.
❧ You’re moving in with him, Mommy? Oh, that’s great… But what about my kitties? Oh, okay… I’ll find a new home for them, Mommy…

❧ Mommy, why did you do this to me? I’m such a good daughter, Mommy, I’m trying to make you happy… I’m doing everything I can, Mommy… Why are you making me cry?
❧ I’m almost seventeen, Mommy, why haven’t things changed? Why are you complaining, Mommy? Because I like staying with Daddy... Oh… I’ll give you money, Mommy…
❧ I’m so happy, Mommy! I’m in a new house with Daddy!… Oh, I’ll get right on it, Mommy…
❧ No, Mommy, I don’t want to come over. No, Mommy, that’s enough! I can’t take it anymore, Mommy! Leave me alone! I don’t want to see you again.

I can’t stand you, Mommy.

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Nobody should suffer this. A mother is supposed to love you, hold you, comfort and take care of you. I went through life with no mother, just an empty body that fed off of my depression daily. I’m almost seventeen, and while I’m scared as heck, I can’t wait to be eighteen. Being a legal adult means I don’t have to deal with her anymore… I don’t have to go over and I don’t have to live with her narcissistic ways.
I’m letting every single person that is reading know that you don’t have to deal with this; you CAN say no.

“You can’t hate your mom.” Is a lie. Just because she birthed you doesn’t mean she is a saint. You can’t choose your family. Family can be toxic.

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Hello loves! 💞

I wanted to share something a bit different today; something that doesn't come up in conversation and something very few people know about my life.
I was emotionally abused, physically abused, and neglected by my mother. It seems rare in today's society to have a girlfriend, mother, sister, or any female abuser, but it does happen... And it's not any easier than being abused by a male.

This short story / slam poem hopefully brings to light the feelings and events of a day in the life of a girl growing up with a mentally unstable or ill mother.

Slam Poem: A poem that expresses a person's personal story in a heart-wrenching and emotional style.

I don't know of many people who have had neglectful and abusive mothers, but if you do, I want you to know that you're not alone.

Please feel free to message me if you did or are going through with something like this.

Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224

All the love X

gif, reminder, and remember this image

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I love each and every one of you beautiful people.

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Cover image made by me.