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Today I will be writing something a little different. It's a personal experience and my little story... so let's get started.

I'm currently 6,302km away from home, it has been 6 days ever since I've been here in Sydney, Australia. I know, it's just 6 days. But it's long enough for me to learn and realise a couple of stuff.

I struggled a little when I reached here. I had lots of stuff to carry when I got out of the plane, it was basically a mess. I did not come alone though, I have two other friends with me, but I do feel kinda lonely sometimes because we are not exactly very close friends, plus, I'm the only girl.

I thought everything would be great, apparently not. A couple of things weren't as what I'd expected. I was a little disappointed, but as the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers. I was an emotional wreck these few days, reality just hit me all at once like "Oh my gosh... okay you're in Australia right now, you are not home. This is not a holiday." I was overwhelmed by everything, on the first and second nights, I broke down, I don't know why either, lol. There are a few things that I actually realised.

1. I've taken things for granted back home

Things were easy back home, I didn't have much to worry about. Everything was perfect. Back at home, I couldn't wait to get to Sydney. I was pretty much excited. Not that I'm not happy right here, I just didn't expect things to turn out like this.

Now that I'm here, I miss home. A lot. That was why I broke down, I missed how things were. I wake up in the morning, realising that I'm not waking up in my own bed, I'm not going to my mum's room to greet her with the groggiest 'Good Morning'. Simple things like this, I realise I'm not actually gonna do it for 151 days.

Speaking of mum, this brings me to my next point.

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2. I didn't appreciate my parents enough

Seriously, I was a confident little brat. I was confident that I will be able to survive without my parents. Haha. I was dead wrong. So much confidence. Tsk. I just realised how important my parents actually are.

I used to thought that I'm an independent girl who doesn't need my parents, I can survive on my own, no problem. It has only been 6 days, and I miss my parents so much already, not too sure how I'm gonna survive for the next 145 days. Bless.
I hate the fact that when I stepped into the house (which is like a hostel), I just go straight into my room and lock the door. I don't have to say "Hey I'm home", I'm all alone now, I only have myself.

Before I stepped into Australia, my mum wanted me to call her every day, my reaction was simply "Seriously ?? I have to do that?? You gotta be kidding me."
Right now? I look forward to her messages all the time.

It was really hard for me, I talked to my dad on the phone yesterday, I almost broke down because I missed him so much. But because I was in public, I fought back my tears. When I went back to the hostel, I broke down immediately, I never thought that I would my dad so much.

That same night, I skyped my parents, again, my tears were threatening to fall. My mum asked me what was wrong, why are my eyes and nose red, "oh it's just really cold here, not used to the cold haha". I didn't want to cry in front of them, I didn't want them to worry, I want them to keep believing that I am strong. At least that's what they believe. We ended the call after an hour or so, after hanging up, I received a message from my mum, that was the first time she said "I love you"

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3. I never thought that I would feel so upset not being able to see my friends even for a day

So after that call with my parents, one of my best friends called me, it was another long phone call. He managed to make me burst into laughter which his trash talks.

That's what I miss. I miss my friends a lot. It's crazy. I miss seeing them in school every day, just talking nonsense, doing weird stuff, judging others together (we are horrible people lol) and just chilling at our usual hangout place. Right here in Sydney, I don't have my close friends with me, things are getting a little lonely here.

Two days ago, my other best friend, someone whom I see in school everyday. He just texted me saying "Hey, I just realised no one is here to flip the coin with me" seriously, these people, they always send texts like this to me when I'm in public, I was literally choking on my tears. Just in case you're wondering what's with the coin flipping, it's just something my friend and I always do because we can't decide where to get lunch.

"I miss the times when we flip our coin" Hey best friend, thanks for turning me into an emotional wreck. Love you too.

And then there's another close friend of mine, who send daily motivation quotes to me. Other than my mum's messages, I look forward to his everyday now. He knew I was having a hard time here, so he actually thought motivational quotes would actually help.

Today's motivational quote is
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." -- Zig Zigar

These people are the reasons why I look forward to the next day, hoping that I could go home soon and see them again. Also, I miss being myself, being a crazy, weird and loud child, Right now, I'm being a little too quiet, I don't talk much, people thinks that I'm just.. someone who doesn't talk much and that I prefer being alone, which is not true at all.

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6 days barely past, I have 145 days left. Of course, it's barely a week, I really hope that things will get better as time pass. I have no other choice, I chose to do this, I have already travelled all the way here, far from home, so I guessed all I could do now is just to deal with it. Just live with it girl.

So that's a short story of mine, I apologise for any errors because I wrote this in a rush. I hope yall enjoy this article! And... anyone in Sydney right now, drop me a dm, please help this lonely soul out. I am still quite new to this city, a little help is greatly appreciated!

That's all for now, thanks for reading!

21.04.18