day 8; share something toy struggle with.

warning: a long rant is coming up

okay, something i struggle with, i think that one is easy to answer. i struggle with loving myself, it's been a struggle for me since i was in middle school but it grew more since high school started.
i hate every physical thing about myself; my face, my eyes, my nose, my lips, my body, even my nails, the good news is, i don't hate myself as in my true self like my personality and attitude, i actually love those, i just struggle so much with loving myself physically, and i've tried so damn much but it's really hard.
i feel like all my problems are going to disappear when i lose weight, like i'm gonna look beautiful and finally love myself, and i know it's wrong bc i'll never feel truly beautiful unless i accept myself as it is.
it's really hard for me, but i think i'm getting better now that i'm on diet and eat healthy food only, though today, i went shopping and whenever i looked in the mirrors in the fitting rooms, i feel disgusted and i look the other way. i pray to god everyday that i finally lose weight so i can finally love myself, she doesn't deserve that much hate and loathing.

anyways, i'm sorry if my rant triggered anyone but i really needed to talk about it and open up a little.
i'll see you tomorrow, stay positive, bye.