my favorite songs tell more about me than anything else. each of these songs reflects one part of me, reveal one secret i keep. (not in any specific order).

1. Ed Sheeran - Even my dad does sometimes

This song touches my soul because it fits one of my biggest internal struggle. it is exactly what i needed to hear some years ago. Strangely, when this song came out, I didn't love it instantly. I learnt to love it way later, once i could reflect on what i was feeling.

2. Kodaline - All I want

This one reminds me of everyone who left for one reason or another. it also represents the question i always ask myself: why did they left, why wasn't i enough.

3. Camila Cabello - Something's gotta give

A lesson i should learn. Every time i listen to this track, i'm reminded that one day i'll have enough courage to let go of everything and everyone hurting me. i'm not there yet, but one day i'll be.

4. Sleeping at Last - Saturn

This song is very special and brings me to tears every time i listen to it. I don't really know why, i just know that the music and the lyrics wake something in me.

5. Halsey - Sorry

This one is dedicated to all my closed one i'm unable to open up to. This one is for my friends, my family and every person who cared about me, the ones i couldn't explain what was happening inside of my brain.

6. Birdy - Start Again

This song symbolizes the recovery process and the hope that never left me, despite everything. One day, i'll get there. One day, i'll be who i always wanted to be and it's going to be so beautiful.

7. Taylor Swift - Never Grow Up

Taylor Swift's songs always touched my heart, but this one is very special. It made me realize how great my childhood actually was. It makes me regret my pre-teen years i wasted by growing up too fast. It makes me realize that my life will never be the way it used to be.

8. Deans Lewis - Waves

Waves are a beautiful metaphor to describe how life works. Good comes and goes, just like bad things do. Nothing will last forever, happiness or sadness. And for some reason, realizing that really upset me.

9. Mary J. Blidge - Doubt

Dedicated to all my past accomplishments and my future successes. This song gives the motivation needed to work hard and to create. It also gives hope for the future and makes you feel good about what you've done so far in your life.

10. Lorde - Liability

Lorde is a musical genius for picturing in her songs emotions everyone felt one day or another. Feeling like a liability is, unfortunately, something most people deal with and the song makes you feel understood.

11. Taylor Swift - Sparks Fly

When i listen to this song, i only feel joy. It makes me feel like a 13 year old again, walking home with a best friend after school. It's laugh and dance and sing on the way home.

12. Kesha - Learn to let go

I always say to everyone to stop worrying about what they can't change, to focus on the good in every situation. I really believe and preach that. But for some reasons, i don't practice it.

13. Labrinth - Jealous

I don't see this song as a breakup song. I see this one as an open letter to people who died, to people who left at one point. When you're trying to be strong and to be happy, deep down, you're just jealous that they moved on and not you.

14. Ed Sheeran - Save myself

When i heard this song for the first time, i couldn't stop crying. Ed Sheeran put into words and expressed what i've been feeling for such a long time. It made me realize that taking care of myself is not being selfish (no matter what my mom says). And i can't just keep giving and giving, because people are not going to give back. That's the harsh reality of life. People won't see what you sacrifice and what you do for them, not because they don't care but because that's just how humans work. People don't ask me if i'm fine because i always pretend i am. People ask for my help because i always offer it even when i cry myself every night because my life is a mess. I try to save others because it makes me feel functional and useful when i'm the one destroying my well-being. Sometimes you need to give less and keep some of your love for yourself. And that's everything but selfishness.

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