If you read my articles for sure you know i like to be a pretty optimistic girl. Let me tell you that if i could, i would try to make everyone happier and help them seeing how precious their lives are.
Even when i am like that, i must say that i feel sad too sometimes. And today is one of thoose days.
I don't really know why i am feeling like this. I don't know why i suddenly feel emptiness and loneliness when there is no apparent reason... so i thought that it would be a good idea to express how i feel with you guys. Maybe sharing this with you will help me to clarify my mind and at the same time some of you could identify with what i'm feeling.
My day was like any other day, i woke up and went to school, learned some stuff in class and chill out with my friends. The thing is that i discovered two things which i wish i haven't discover.
The first one: I'm in a toxic friendship with one of the persons i want the most.
The second one: I really love my bestfriend but both of us already have a couple. And i don't think he likes me.
Apart from that im feeling alone and i have messed up so many things. Even when i have all this people around me nobody understands it, nobody can make me feel better because the reality is, that i am the only person who can decide to leave out of this crazy emotions. The funny thing is that sometimes sadness feels good, it kinda gets addictive and makes me feel some weird comfort....and i wonder, this has happen to you before? Its like you prefer to stay this way because putting an effort right now seems so difficult.
Whatever....I just want someone to hug me but i don't want to ask, i want someone to listen to me but i don't talk...it is really an endless cycle.
For not making this longer, i just want to say that it's okay feeling this way because after all i can assure you: Everyone have felt this way and we are not rocks so... yeah, it's fine. The trick is to talk about it or write about it so when all the people don't understand, at least you see your own words and thoughts in a clearer way. This helps me a lot for recovering and charge batteries for what is next.
Now that i have written this to you guys about it i feel better and am ready to go back to my optimistic path. I know my problems may seem ridiculous compare to other problems but i insist that even if you had the most enormous problem or the smallest one in the world, writing is sometimes the key. Just be honest with yourself.

Thank you for reading.