I feel like people nowadays are always looking for love. We are relationship hungry. And who can blame us, especially with everything we see on social media and in movies or on TV shows. On screen romance is glorified and we yearn for it because it surrounds us. We want to feel like we've achieved it in our own lives enough to seek it out.

The problem is expecting to have this perfect relationship without loving yourself first. Ideas of perfection are often clouded by expectations of a perfect image. For example, media deems exceedingly good looking white women as ideal partners for exceedingly good looking white males (under most circumstances). A coloured girl who is attracted to white men is threatened by this image because it has convinced her that no white man will ever love her.

If you enter a relationship half-heartedly and expect the other person to uphold your self-esteem with compliments and attention, you will only get hurt in the end. I speak from personal experience. It's important to love yourself first and know your worth, because then you'll know when you deserve better. Wanting to be in love or be in a relationship is not the issue, you just need to know who you are without someone else in your life telling you who to be.

I'm still in the process of learning to love myself and here are some of the tips and tricks I'm following day by day:

I started having body confidence issues when I was about 10. I was the "fattest" of all my friends and they all had boyfriends at the time. I believed that no boy wanted to date me because I wasn't skinny. I'm now 18 and these negative thoughts about my body still haunt me. HOWEVER, I've stopped caring about what boys think, but I am going to adapt to a healthier lifestyle FOR ME. Here are some changes I'm making to be healthier:

fitness, fit, and workout image fruit, food, and strawberry image voss, strawberry, and water image girl, yoga, and summer image
Going to the gym or for a run, eating healthier, drinking more water and meditating!

I also noticed at a young age that the people in my life had a lot to do with the way I saw myself. As I got older I learned that in order to reinvent my self-image, I had to cleanse the negativity from my life, including the people. My REAL friends showed themselves and I'm so grateful for them.

Image by Sharmeeyn♡Kefee Image by Bi 🖤 friends, adidas, and bff image girl, coachella, and fashion image

While having a great support group helps in loving yourself, it is crucial to know who you are when you're alone. Being able to stand alone and still be as confident as you are with friends shows so much about how you see yourself. Confidence IS KEY. If you consider yourself a bad b!tch when you're with your squad, an independent bad b!tch you shall also be!

Images that inspire my independent image:

fashion, style, and outfit image shoes, fashion, and black image Temporarily removed Image by ☁️GLOWJOB☁️ coffee image paris, france, and eiffel tower image
Be true, be you.

*If you'd like this to become a series of articles where I share my journey of learning to love myself either: send me a message and let me know! OR react to this article with the heart eyes emoji!

*cover image from @paper_clouds