The bells rang. It was time to go. I followed them. I hadn’t the ability to think properly any more. And I also didn’t want to. Remember meant accept the reality that no one wished for.

We let several prints in the snow. We were just making dirty the white snow. What a shame ! Why innocent and pure things are always degraded by someone ? They never asked something. It’s like the flower cut for its beauty, like the animal hanged by its hunters, like this snow.

They stopped. “We have arrived“ I noticed. I did the same. We all did. Wearing black clothes, trying to hide our tears or not, telling to ourselves everything was fine. But we weren’t fine, not at all. At least not the close friends and the family.
I heard something, right ? I was not sure actually. I was kind of lost because of the major upset. That was logical.

snow, winter, and nature image flowers, rose, and snow image
rose, winter, and flowers image beauty, nature, and roses image

People moved forward a hole. They threw something. It was red, no white, no pink. Was I going insane ? Someone took my hand. Consequently I started. It was a warm hand, a big one. It seemed familiar but I couldn’t find who was the owner. Unfortunately the hand pulled me strongly to the hole. I wasn’t scared but It was so awkward.

“Ouch“ I whispered. I cut myself with a rose. Where did it come from ? Probably my hand. So it was my turn to cover the wood box with a white rose. Instead of a smile, I made a grimace. I threw the flower and let my place for an other person.
The hand was back. And, this time I compressed back the hand because I remembered. I remembered everything. My chest inflated. My cheeks were wet. I cried. No, the snow was falling again. Did it ?

.................................................................................................................................

december, gif, and nature image dead, death, and snow image

The snow that had fallen during the night had cover our last prints. The soil is blank one more time. It isn’t contaminated by all those shoes.
I’m standing in front of the grave. I fit flowers. The flowers that the dead liked the most. As the selfish person I am, I bought flowers. I took their freedom and their life.

I’m here alone. Today I am conscious. I’m still not fine. It will take time, little by little, I will get used to your death. I miss you and I still will. We’ll all do.

I reminded some random facts about you. I love the way you related stories. The way you laughed. I love the way you looked when you were angry to someone else than me. Oh dear, it will be so hard without your bright smile in this dark place.
Dear, I’ll remember everything. It’s a promise. “I won’t forget you.“ I told the image on the grave. A tear has fallen. And an other. Without realising it, I’m laying on the snow, I’m collapsible crying all my soul.

Few hours had passed, I guess. I stand again. My eyes are red. I used all my tears. I’m dried.

This time I’m going home. I know it’ll be harder some days than others. I know I will always love you. And you also knew. I’ll be back tomorrow dear. “See you“ I said, hoarsely.

___________________
The playlist of the story :
✩ Le vide by Slimane
✩ Mon ami la rose by Natasha Atlas

I hope you liked and enjoyed.
Have a good day
or a good night,
Lila.