Courage to tell someone how you feel about them can be gut wrenching to the point where your heart beats so loud and fast you can feel it in your chest and to where you could collapse in a puddle of your own nerves.

The build up is worse than the actual action. You overthink every possible response the person could have and worry about if they won't feel the same way..cause I don't know what's worse, him saying "no" and things become awkward between yall or him saying "no" and scaring him away completely. Either way he's gonna know how I feel..and that thought alone trumps the "no" scenarios.

So I recently told the guy I liked how I felt about him. All signs pointed to a potential mutual feeling, but I still was absolutely terrified.

It's crazy to think that a person can make you feel this way. So nervous and anxious to where it turns your stomach into knots just seeing them across the room...I wish he knew though..how he makes me feel. How I adore his kindness and the way he plays guitar. I sometimes wonder if he can feel the pulsing of my heart when we hug. Would he had changed his mind?

Maybe if I would have told him sooner, things could be different. We could be together. If I only had the courage to say something before it seemed too late. Would he had changed his mind?

Maybe if I looked at him with the admiration I had when he wasn't looking, would he had changed his mind?

"I like you." I said, "I don't feel the same way." He said.

Maybe if I never looked at him with the admiration I also had of him when he wasn't looking, would I had changed my mind?

Maybe if I would have never told him, things could be different. We wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness together. If I only had the courage to just keep my mouth and feelings shut before it was too late. Would I had changed my mind?

It's crazy that a person can make you feel this way. So discouraged and embarrassed to where it turns your stomach into knots knowing you can't look at him across the room without fighting tears..I wish he knew though..how he makes me feel. How I still adore his kindness and the way he plays guitar. I sometimes wonder if he can feel my heart sink when we make eye contact. Would I had changed my mind?

So I recently told the guy I liked how I felt about him. All signs pointed to a potential mutual feeling, but I still was absolutely terrified.

The action at the time can seem worse than the build up. You endure every passing day knowing he doesn't feel the same way..cause I know it's worst, him saying "no" at all. Rejection. Either way he's gonna know how I feel..and that thought alone will trump me for a season.

But my darling seasons change and each season has it's own beauty and grace and my darling you will rise when the time comes. And oh, you will be adored.