i don't feel like i relate to my friends anymore.
we're all extremely different in most ways.
they never seem to get me.
i never feel good enough for my friends.
and i'll continue to believe i never will.
they all have other people.
people more important than me.
everyone is more important than me.
i'll look around and begin to realise things.
i'll never fit in.
i'll never be missed.
but in reality i don't want to be missed.
i don't want to be remembered.
because i have nothing good to be remembered by.
only really by the fact that all i do is cry.
people talk all over me.
and i begin to fade away.
i've lost all my colours.
i've become a shell.
i'm no longer myself.
in fact i'm so fucking far away from it.
before i'd hate the idea that i'm dying.
but honestly now, that's all i want.
i need to disappear.
i need to run.
i need to hide.
i need to lose myself and make everyone unaware of my existence.
so i can begin to find the real me again.
someone so lost and far away, that no one really is aware of anymore.
but i remember that i'm so fucking naïve.
even if i become a different person,
no one is going to care.
no one cares at all already.
my friends tell me they all care.
but i don't feel it.
but that may just be me.