For as long as I can remember, like all the way back when I was eight years old, I've always had dreams of traveling and going to new and different places, and just basically doing big things with my life. I never wanted to live a boring life. From a young age, I vowed to myself that I would not live a boring mediocre life like I saw most people living (no shade to anyone). So from then on I had a vision in my head that when I got older I'd have myself together and in order enough to go an travel to the places I'd always wanted, and do the things I've always wanted to do, but somehow, as I grew up my vision became a bit jaded, and even those that I interacted with, regardless if it was family, friends, whomever, seemed to aid in my dream fading out. Now thats not to say that it was simply everyone else's fault that I couldn't do the things I set out to, but that it felt as if I didn't really have anyone in my corner supporting me, and even as a grown adult, having been through the many highs and lows that life can bring, I somehow still find myself feeling that way.

I've always always had this dream of moving to California, not for any specific reason, but just because I simply loved it there. I've had the opportunity to visit there multiple times and every time I do it feels like I belong there, like that should be home for me. Its weird. It's like when you find yourself in a certain place and its almost like you've had a former life there or things feel familiar to you. Thats how I feel about California, and I've never been the kind to be sucked into the BS that most will point out about that particular state, or want to be there for any other intention, but mostly because its the culture that attracts me. The ability to feel stress and care free, the positive vibes that strangers whom I've interacted with give off. The idea of living there sounds marvelous to anyone who'll think it, but again this dream like many others I've had, were shot down circumstantially, and this is not to say that now in my adulthood there is nothing stopping me from going out and doing it, but its the environment you currently live in, those that you co-habitate with, your friends, even your family who allow it to seem as if they don't believe in you, no matter what the situation is. For the longest time I've felt like I shouldn't even waste time having dreams and wishes, and just give up and live the life other people want me to live because of all the negativity I get. But, I've learned through many disheartening and discouraging situations that, when you feel as if almost all your dreams have been crushed, due to those around you and their thwarted opinions, or even circumstances out of your control, this is the time where you rely on YOURSELF heavily to keep YOUR dream alive and to see that dream or wish come true, and you make it happen on your own terms! I have to continue to learn to do things on my own and to stop listening to what others say or think, and I hope whoever reads this that may be down and out about the way you feel about the dreams you have, whether big or small, to go after them and do what makes you happy, and don't loose faith! God is going to see you through your tough times and your struggle and bless with all that you can think of plus more!!