Because I got to spend it with my friends, because I danced and jumped so much I couldn't stand the next day, because I sang and screamed so much I couldn't talk the next day and because I got so much closer to you.

You (reading this) may think I am a party girl but let me tell you I am the most introvert person ever especially when I don't trust the people around me. But this past week I promised myself that my personality and my confidence would not get in the way of me having the best time ever and I did it. I have so much great memories with my friends you can not imagine. Every day was wake up, eat, pool/beach, party, eat, get ready for the night and yes I thought it would be no fun but I am so glad i went. And i had the best time of my life. Me and 5 more friends cuddled and slept in the same bed together, me and 3 more friends took a bath together, we partied till sunrise, we laughed till sunrise, we danced all day and night, we sang all day and night, I can't even describe how fun this adventure was. It brought us all closer and I could definitely see the real friends from the fake ones which was truly eye opening.
But like every other vacation, there also happened some things I was not expecting, at least not now. I will explain. So, this boy asked me to prom in January and since then he has been trying to get closer to me. But I have been pushing him a little bit away because I can feel that he likes me. And he finally admitted one night when he was drunk he liked me. The thing is: I don't like him. Not in the same way he does. But the last thing I want to do is hurt him because he is a really great guy. And I haven't had a boyfriend or my first kiss for that matter and i know and everyone around me knows he would be the best guy for me. I know he wouldn't hurt me and we could have a great thing together but I can't change my feelings for him. And i have explained to everyone that i just don't like him the same way he likes me and everyone thinks it's because I am stubborn or afraid to get close to anyone. They just think I have no reason to not like him and I am just saying no to him out of stupidity but they never stopped to think that there is a deeper reason. No one ever thought about what I feel with all this situation. And can't force myself to like him when I already like someone else. So much I can't even explain.
But there are a lot of problems that come with me liking him. First, I don't want to hurt the boy that likes me but I know I am already doing it by saying I don't have the same feelings for him. But I have to think about what I feel first, right? Second, I liked a boy way before this for 5 years and I got really hurt and that is way I don't let anyone get close to me. But I let the boy I like get close to me and I shouldn't have. Third, this boy's personality and looks are like the other one and I know I will eventually get hurt again and I can't take it anymore. This boy that I like was the one that made me forget about the other one so you can see how important he is to me. And we are really good friends, I have known him my whole life and one day out of nowhere I looked at him and I thought "You look really good with that outfit on" and from there my feeling started to grow. Every time he called my name, every time he smiled at me, every time he made me laugh, every time he touched me, every time he kissed me, every time he teased me, every time he bit me, every time he pushed me closer to him, every time we played, every time he called me stupid ass names that I somehow started to love coming out of his mouth I knew I was slowly falling for him. Falling for everything he was, his good and his bad. And this vacation just made me be even more sure of what I want. I want him, in every way shape, or form. It was the first time I ever admitted to someone and maybe even to myself that I have feelings for him. But I regret it. I regret telling my friend I feel something for him. Because, first, this could be nothing and I am getting attached to something I have no control over and second, because I don't trust anyone to keep my secrets, not even her, and I know soon this will spread and I don't want to deal with that kind of situation. The thing is he knows that this other boy likes me because he went up to him out of the blue and told him and they aren't even friends so I think the boy who likes me somehow realized there could be something going on between us and wanted to "mark territory" or something. The problem is the boy I like knows the other one likes me and now he will probably stay away from me because he doesn't want to stay in the way of me and the other one even though I don't like the other one. I feel like that's what's going to happen and I don't want it to happen and I will do everything to make sure it doesn't happen but if that is what he wants than I have to accept it.

So yeah, as you (reading this) can see, this was one hell of a week but I would do it all over again. I didn't even tell you where I went. I went one week to Gandìa, Spain, with my friends and it was