i was never one to possess many friends. i’ve always performed acts of desperation in attempt to fit in. later, i realized all i did was make a fool of myself.
i have this void in my life. i’m not sure where it falls, as it’s quite complex. the complexity makes it difficult to understand the actions necessary to fill this void. i do know this emptiness is inflicted by a series of insecurities and fear of risky unknowns.
i know what i can do to fill a fraction of this void, but my glass will remain half empty.
it’s draining really, trying to understand something that feels incomprehensible. i’m left with growing confusion, frustration, and a massive headache.
though, not everyday is like that. some days, i’m content with it. other days, it’s harder. either way, i’m left to cope with it. i refuse to burden others with my inability to to put together the pieces of this complicated puzzle called life. there’s a constant contemplation of wanting to do it on my own, and longing for a companion.
it's difficult to explain, but in a world so vast, it’s easy to feel alone..