I was reading a book the other night. A romance. The main character was in love with the rockstar boyfriend who was always snorting lines of blow. They'd been together so long that the main character was just used to this, and got over it quickly. It wasn't until they found their independence through song that they noticed an invisible person between them.

I knew exactly what this invisible person was.

After a school dance last weekend, my friend Joe* dropped off person by person until we both got back to his house. We left the dance early because he was super upset. Once we were alone, it finally came out. His boyfriend had texted him, asking if he had any drugs. Of course, Joe didn't. This really upset Joe. He's dated guys before, but never any that he truly liked like this. The gay population in our area is so small that you date who you can find. He made a connection with this guy, but can't get over the drug use. And this boyfriend refused to see this as any type of problem. This is when I asked,

"Do you really want to be second to drugs?"

That was the invisible person between them. Not just drugs, but any destructive behavior. If someone has an addiction to anything, that's their #1. They will always pick the drugs first.

What I want you to know is that you don't have to put up with that. It does not matter how happy they make you feel when they're sober; you deserve better. If someone wants help, get them help. If they do not truly want it, then there is no use in you staying. You don't have to be #1 in any of your relationships. Maybe family or other friends come first, and that's okay. But you should never be second to the invisible person.

*name has been changed.