I’m not suicidal, but sometimes I would like to stop breathing. I’m not depressed, nor do I suffer from any mental disorder, but I am mentally exhausted.
People see me, and they cannot imagine the internal struggle that is taking place in my head. They hurt me, but they don’t even realize it. I’d like to know if one day this heavy and painful emptiness will be filled, and that stresses me; think that my youth is leaving and I still without doing anything productive, but wasting my time.
Life loses its meaning little by little and my desire to improve it is dissolving in the air. The only feelings that my heart hasn’t blocked yet are FURY, PAIN and IMPOTENCE.
Do you know how it is to live like this? This is not life.
This hurts, it burns, and it consumes me inside in such a way that it devours me in such a painful and slowly way. The fact that things won't improve and my dreams will be just that, dreams make me want to scream out loud inside of me cause of the impotence.
Mr. Nobody, I’m alone in this. No one would understand the disaster in my head. I really wish my parents were in this with me but my dad already has his own problems to deal with stupid things, and mom —well, I don’t know if she cares. After all this is a phase, right? For now I’ve left to fight alone. And I will fight until my strength gives me, and the rest is in the hands of God, and the destiny.

'Night, Mr. Nobody.