Hello wonderful souls! Today I want to talk about something that happens a lot in our lives and can have a huge impact on our mental health - toxic people and toxic relationships.

So, grab your coffee, tea (I’m having some orange+rum combo at the café now and it’s the most delicious thing ever!) or a cocktail, and let’s get into this!

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First, you gotta know how to recognize a toxic relationship and how that “toxic persons” act:

- They constantly interrupt you when you’re having a conversation – to them, what you have to say is not important
- They judge you – directly or in a more subtle way – and criticize you
- You can’t be 100% yourself with them
- You don’t feel like you’re getting enough support from them
- You feel lack of trust
- You often feel drained in their presence; the negative energy is in the air and you can’t fight it
- They make it hard for you to say NO to them (shortage of autonomy); you catch yourself lowering your standards for them
- They be love-bombing you and then, all of a sudden they switch
- If you try to bring up the problem, they be blaming you – “You’re imagining things; you talk sh#t…”

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I wanna clear the air and say that this does not mean they are a bad person, neither are you for addressing the issues the two of you have. You maybe vibe different, you have different personalities, but whatever the reason is – this relationship is doing you more bad than good, and what other reason you need?!

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Whenever you feel tense, uncomfortable around someone – that’s your body reacting to the negative energy surrounding the two of you. If you don’t trust me, trust your body and intuition – it never lies!

Toxic relationships cost you dearly in time and energy; staying in and hoping that a person can change can only work against you (sabotaging you in achieving your goals; making you feeling unworthy of love and kindness and so so on, the list is long as hell!). If I know something, it’s relationships.

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Trust me, I KNOW. I been dealing with a lot of toxic people in my life, and the most toxic of them all was my mother (she still is, she’s alive lol, I just act differently).

There are so many symptoms of a toxic relationship, they are all different, but the vibe doesn’t lie baby – call ‘em like you see ‘em!

You can’t be dancing with the devil and wondering why are you still in hell.

Okay, so now that you recognized that person, or persons, let’s talk about healing, what can you do, what you want to avoid and HOW THE HELL TO GET OUT OF THIS SH#T HOLE! (btw guys, do I swear too much? I hope not, but that’s just me lmao)

CHANGE YOURSELF AND CUT THEIR POWER

We humans are so weird, you know… We put so much energy intro trying to change someone, without questioning ourselves first.

Changing yourself in this relationship means:

- Avoiding them (it’s up to you whether you’re going to let them know or not)
- When you mean NO, say NO
- Stop arguing when something comes up
- Stop explaining yourself to them
- Be very clear about your expectations in your relationships ahead of time
- Don’t talk to them about anything that can encourage them to criticize you, or make you question your choices/goals/dreams

Yes, I know it can be very hard to do this, but there’s no point in holding onto something that is bad for you. “The monster” can’t survive without you feeding it.
When you don’t like any Instagram account, or you don’t vibe with it, what you do? YOU UNFOLLOW IT! Yeah, yeah – it’s easier said than done, but I’m sure you did a lot of things that scared you at first!

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WORK ON YOUR CONFIDENCE

We usually engage in this type of relationships when we have fear of being lonely. We then excuse and minimize toxic people’s behavior, we find excuses for them – ”They’re just having a bad day! If I was a better person (or richer, prettier, thinner) they’d treat me better…”

BULLSH#T!
You don’t have to take responsibility for someone’s icky actions.

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Have some me-time and ask yourself:

-What am I holding onto?
-What am I bringing into?
-What is it in my energy or behavior that attracts those types of people into my life?

CHALLENGING RELATIONSHIPS – FAMILY MEMBERS, WORK COLLEAGUES, ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

We are often stuck in a relationship that is not that easy to get out of. To me, it was a relationship with my mother, who is a narcissist. Check out my article that tells a small part of the story:

You have to truly accept the fact that you can’t change anyone – unless they want to change themselves. The worst thing you can do is trying to explain to someone who’s treating you less than you deserve that they are doing that. These persons don’t know that they are toxic – if they could understand this and if they knew better, they wouldn’t act like this.

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So, trying to prove them wrong is only gonna make you feel bad and drained, again.

What you do, is doing anything that make you vibrate higher. When you have that positive energy within you, it surrounds you and bad experiences can’t mess with you that bad anymore.

You can’t always change the situation, but you can change the way you react, and that’s your power right there.

Stay true to yourself and your values, listen to your heart, and be strong if you need to extricate yourself from a toxic relationship.
Be very clear with other people about your expectations for the relationship ahead of time. Your ego will argue with you, saying you can’t tell others the truth or they won’t like you. The real truth is that unless you speak your truth, you’re nothing but an empty shell to other people. When you treat yourself with self-respect, other people respect you.
- Louise hay

I hope you liked this article and you can find it useful!

Heart it if you like it and check my other articles! Love you so much and let me know what do you want me to write about!