One night, we met at a party.
We started to talk and to drink vodka with orange juice
We got drunk, we laughed a lot, we looked at each other's eyes
You tried to kiss me, but i got very nervous so i hugged you
that was our first hug.
That night, i sat in your legs and you hugged me from the back saying you liked my hair and that i was really pretty.,we talked about our grandparents while the music was playing in the background.
In a moment, i turned around and i looked at your green eyes
you looked at my mouth and without saying a word, you kissed me.
it was my first kiss
i felt that i was in the space, there was no sound, no music, no people, no lights, nothing
just you and me

Suddenly, we became friends,
we talked every day by whatsapp, and all i could think about was you,
every day, every night, every second and hour of my life.
One day, we had a date. We went to the cinema to watch a horror movie
Again, just you and me
We ate at Mcdonnald's, we talked a lot and i don't know why, the conversation turned out sad because, again, we talked about how much we missed our grandparents
you started to cry in silence and i touched your hand
you looked at me in my eyes and grab my hand tight in return
that night, i fell in love with you
that night, i thought you were my soulmate
i thought you were the only one for me
i thought you liked me just as much as i liked you
but i was wrong.

One day, i found out that you liked another girl
and my heart broke in a million pieces
and when you started dating that girl, i tried to do my best to get you out of my mind.
I did everything i could
but love blinded me
and your face was still in my mind
One day, we talked again like before
we were singing in the church and suddenly, you started to cry
so i touched your arm and you hand, in a way of saying that everything will be okay, and that i was there for you if you needed me.
The morning after, i hugged you and you hugged me tighter
i asked you if you feel better and you said yes, smiling
and i thought "I love you"
but i didn't say it
because, even though you were not with your girlfriend anymore,
i knew that you will never feel the same about me.

You're not a bad person. You are the best guy i've ever met
but you didn't care about me
you never asked me if i was okay when you saw me crying
i invited you to see me acting in my last drama class
and you didn't came
you forgot my birthday
you forgot my existence when we met with our friends and soon, i realized that i was getting really sad because of you.

Sometimes,i had to pretend that everything was okay
that my heart was still beating
that it wasn't broken.
But i had to do something for me.
i had to heal the wound you left
because i realized that i deserve better
even though i loved you like anyone love you before, you didn't have eyes for me.
You just see me as your friend,
and that's okay, because we are friends. I know you love me, in a different way
but i deserve someone who can fall in love with me every day
i deserve someone who actually cares about me
not just when i feel sad, but when i feel happy too
and you are not that person
Maybe, love blinded you too.

i'm not angry with you or something like that
because i've gain a friend
and i'm very grateful for that
but i know that this is the best for us
remember i will always love you and care for you
i'll be there if you need me
because that's what friends do
but now, i don't need a friend
i need a soulmate who can stay with me forever.
Maybe in another life we will be better for each other
Maybe in another life, we could be what we wanted to be, because i know we had a connection ,and when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away.
But right now, i have to let you go, even though i don't want to,
even though it's hard, even though it hurts.

i wish you can found your own soulmate
i wish you the best because you deserve it
but i deserve it too
so, thankyou, my love
for every look, for every word, for every touch
for every smile, for every laugh, for every tear dropped
for every hug, for that wonderful kiss
and for that wonderful night we met
thankyou for all the love you gave me
and all our beautiful moments that i will never forget
thankyou so much for everything.
I love you.