Gosh, he's always been there.

Japanese school has always been my safe heaven. Every saturday, Japanese students from schools around the city would meet up in Supplementary School and have breaks from our latin-american lives. Most of us are half-japanese, and even though he wasn't into stuff I wasn't into, we could get a good laugh together. We told everyone in our class our secrets, because at the end of the day, we would go home and not see each other for the rest of the week. There was something about our common heritage that made us a group of misfits. We talked over texts and hung out occassionally, but what held us together was the hell of a ride that it was juggling a double life due to us being mixed. But we, along two other friends, Haru and Fer, were the closest.

One thing that we all looked forward was our annual trip to the beach. We would go to a hotel with traditional cottages along a cliff, with a private beach down a long, rocky staircase. And each year we huddled around a bonfire and talked hours before going to sleep. We soaked under the sun, played beach tennis, and walked down the beach collecting random trinkets we found. But that year was different. We had spent so much time used to each other that we didn't notice we had already grown out of our child-like selves.

One night I sneaked out of my room and run over to my Haru's cottage. I knock, but she doesn't answer. Neither does Fer. Finally I run up to yours and knock. Your brother peeks out the door and opens it.

"Hey, Eiji" I said "You guys want to go for a midnight swim? Haru and Fer are asleep"

"Uh sure, I'll go tell Aki"

Off we went to the pool on top of the cliff. It had its lights on, highlighting its turquoise color and the flashy hotel name written at the bottom. After a while of fooling around and floating in the water looking at the stars, Eiji leaves us to go sleep, but we were both too awake to go back.

"You know what? Eiji's cold but he actually has tons of girls behind him at school"

"Really? I bet he has a secret girlfriend or something"

"I don't think so, he's too stuck up for any of them. But you know who's a better ladies' man? This guy!" he replies and points at himself.

I splash him water and push him, laughing hysterically. Then I hear some voices from afar.

"Fuck fuck we're going to get caught"

We stride over to the side of the pool. Huddled together, we try to breath quietly.

Now, I'm impulsive and a hopeless romantic, especially at the verge of hitting puberty. And that situation seemed like it came out of movie. So I leaned in for a kiss. More of a lip-lock than a peck, I giggled in the middle of it. And then he did too.

"What have we doneeee"

I played along.

"Yeah, this relationship is forbiddeeeen!"



"What do we-"

"We're cool, Aki"

"Yeah, it's going to be complicated"

"Yeah, and you're too gross for me"

"Guess kissing the pillow didn't work"

I laugh.

"We're cool dude, you're okay"

I reach for a high-five and a pat on the back. And that was it. We went back to normal the next day.

We still hang out till this now. He got his girls, I got my boy. We still trust each other for problems and we still laugh with Haru, because Fer moved to Japan for college. I guess we all expected for this to have a happy, predictable ending. Maybe we were meant to be, as for now, I'm glad we can still just joke around, no strings atttached.


My third entry to this collection. This is one of my favorites because it's just innocent fun and we still talk to this day. I cannot lie, there was probably feelings here and there but nothing that lasted more than a week. But still, it's not one of the stories that I want to get off my chest. I'll probably write soon!


I've been in a relationship for quite some time now and I almost forgot how I used to have TONS of crushes on people. Some of them left a nice memory in my head and some did more harm than good, so I'm writing the story of each of them to let go completely and refresh my mind. Hopefully you'll find them fun to read, especially because I think I learnt at least one lesson in each of those crushes and have included them here. This wil be a series called 'Busy thinking about boys', in honor of Charli XCX's song, my favorite from her, and because this crushes TRULY wasted my thinking time (I daydream a lot lol).

Stay beautiful,

xo dani

(Check out my collection to know the rest of my stories!)