emotional abuse - toxic love and salty tears 💚💧

“It is not the the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.”
― Aisha Mirza

Emotional abuse.. painful, frustrating and tragic.
Today, I've finally decided to open up and speak about the emotional abuse my mother has caused me since I was a young teen. Why I'm doing this on a platform like WeHeartIt, which is a website for sharing images and writing positive articles ? Well first of all, freedom of speech is still a thing and writing is my therapy, it get's the heavy baggage off my chest. And second, I hope someone who reads this will realize they're not the only one going through something similar.
It will help you not feel completely sorrowful.

In this article I will tell you how to deal with sadness, what you can do and in my post linked below, I've written about all the things I do to feel mentally better.

Here's a little guide to happiness :

I also included motivational quotes and topic related pictures in here. It's a mixture of a very serious issue (obviously), but also light-hearted humor, because no one should ever take your light away from you.
*Ace Ventura voice * Alrighty, then, here we go.

My life hasn't always been butterflies and roses 🦋
When I think back to everything, I do appreciate the support I received from people who actually loved me or the things I was able to experience like travels, fun parties or peaceful moments by myself. But a part of me can't forget about the bad things that happened where most people would say, that's just life and you're not alone.. which is true I guess. And for many years I refused to talk about anything. About the times where friends of mine betrayed me and started talking behind my back, when I gained weight as a 10 year old and started to get bullied for being ugly & fat, when my father died at the age of 9 and I didn't even realized what happened, when teachers started calling me stupid, the boys I fell in love with and said like me back started ignoring me and playing with my honest feelings towards them or the times when I worked my ass of but only received backlash. The list goes on and on.
The case of emotional abuse in my life stayed with me and always will because I'm a soft soul and love with all of my heart. And because I loved so much and give so much, I got hurt. There are many details and other things that I can't mention all because I can't quote everything I've been called or what people said to me to bruise my mind. But honestly, I'd always do it again, cause I'm not afraid too love, show emotions or be who I am. I wouldn't give me up for anything in the world.
Have I ever wanted to hurt myself? Yes.
Have I ever abused alcohol or drugs? Yes.
Have I ever been on medication? Yes.
Would I ever kill myself? Hell no!
Because I respect life way too much and know that in the end it will always be worth it.

All the people who have hurt me in the past, are gone. They haven't stayed in my life and I'd never let them back in. Which is one thing to remember. And it may take 5 months to get better or maybe 5 years.
But I know that for the rest of my life I will be OK.
Even when I do get upset, isn't it understandable though? It's frustrating when you can't talk, trust or be open with anyone.

One thing that I used to tell myself is that other people have bigger problems, that's why I've never liked speaking openly about what bothers me and how I truly feel. But when I turned 21 I finally got a grip and decided to do my best to change my life. To turn my negative mind into a paradise, my life into heaven and cut out any toxins that made me miserable. I was tired of feeling lonely, crying every day, getting too drunk, thinking about killing myself because no one loves me and drowning my thoughts underneath the water.

I ain't no princess, I'm a fighter.

What did I do?

I went to the doctor's and told him everything. I got put on medication, which helped me a lot and is nothing to be ashamed of. It helps me with my severe anxiety and depression.
I never stopped leaving the house even if it was by myself. Go outside to the park, visit a museum, the beach or a cafe.
Last year I met the love of my life and we're in a happy relationship. I also found some new friends through him and a new friend at work.
So, I started being more social again.
I got a new job and signed up for Film School to pursue my dreams of becoming a Filmmaker. I also signed up to the Gym even.
I slowly got back into my old hobbies which include painting, reading & writing. I made a playlist with music that brings me joy.
And I started to spend more time in nature and mediate.

My advice is let the tears run down your body, and then grow from them. Know that you are valuable and not worthless, many things need time, patience is the key to life. That is why not many people possess it. No matter what you want to achieve in life, you can! It just won't happen overnight, which is completely fine and normal, it doesn't make you a failure. Never let anyone make you think your dreams are stupid, you're an idiot for showing emotions or are a pathetic human being. Those things say more about them and who they are than about you! I'd rather reach too high for the stars or be a crybaby than a terrible, verbally abusive, disgusting person.
As I said everything takes time, some scars may stay but it is up to you to accept them, and realize how strong of a person you really are. Don't let anyone hold you back from living a full filled, happy life. You can be really proud of yourself, at least I am. I know it's not easy to ignore problems & issues, but it's for the best to let them rest and not listen to anything the monsters inside your head.

sad and gif image — Your body is like a forest, it needs to grow.

If you need help with your problems, don't be afraid to talk about them. There's online therapy which is free and might help you a lot, or talk to a person you trust most, whether that be a family member, friend, teacher or doctor of yours. Even strangers on online forums are open to listen to your worries.

Here's a website for online therapy https://www.7cups.com/

Famous people who have dealt and battled with depression, anxiety or abuse, but have either healed, become stronger or survived through it since then:

aesthetic, demi, and demi lovato image — **Demi Lovato** made headlines in 2010 by checking into a treatment facility for "emotional and physical issues". After leaving the center and getting her life back under control, she revealed that she suffered from anorexia, bulimia, and bipolar disorder. & **Kristen Bell** she had a serious battle with depression. In an interview she revealed that she has long taken medication for her depression and anxiety. But she learned early on that there is no shame in seeking help and taking medication.

kristen bell and pretty image — **Demi Lovato** made headlines in 2010 by checking into a treatment facility for "emotional and physical issues". After leaving the center and getting her life back under control, she revealed that she suffered from anorexia, bulimia, and bipolar disorder. & **Kristen Bell** she had a serious battle with depression. In an interview she revealed that she has long taken medication for her depression and anxiety. But she learned early on that there is no shame in seeking help and taking medication.

jim carrey, funny, and lol image — **Jim Carrey** has spent much of his life dealing with depression. After the second of his two failed marriages, Carrey sought the help of a psychiatrist who prescribed him Prozac. Though Carrey admits the antidepressant helped him out of an initial jam, he also realized that he couldn’t be one of those who stay on the drug forever. “I had to get off [Prozac] at a certain point,” said Carrey. “You need to get out of bed every day and say that life is good. That’s what I did, although at times it was very difficult for me.” Carrey credits a healthy diet and natural supplements for his improved mental health. & **Johnny Depp** suffers from severe anxiety. His anxiety has been a major source of depression and unease, so much so that he has access to therapists at all times, even on film sets, who help advise him on how best to deal with his anxiety and keep it from dragging him into severe depression. Jim and Johnny are also two good proves that seeking help is no weakness.

johnny depp image — **Jim Carrey** has spent much of his life dealing with depression. After the second of his two failed marriages, Carrey sought the help of a psychiatrist who prescribed him Prozac. Though Carrey admits the antidepressant helped him out of an initial jam, he also realized that he couldn’t be one of those who stay on the drug forever. “I had to get off [Prozac] at a certain point,” said Carrey. “You need to get out of bed every day and say that life is good. That’s what I did, although at times it was very difficult for me.” Carrey credits a healthy diet and natural supplements for his improved mental health. & **Johnny Depp** suffers from severe anxiety. His anxiety has been a major source of depression and unease, so much so that he has access to therapists at all times, even on film sets, who help advise him on how best to deal with his anxiety and keep it from dragging him into severe depression. Jim and Johnny are also two good proves that seeking help is no weakness.

Image by Little fashion Queen of disney ♛♛ — **Angelina Jolie** had a difficult relationship with her father and at times felt abandoned, as well as emotionally abused. & **Eminem** has often made reference to childhood neglect and abuse in his music.

eminem image — **Angelina Jolie** had a difficult relationship with her father and at times felt abandoned, as well as emotionally abused. & **Eminem** has often made reference to childhood neglect and abuse in his music.

Macaulay Culkin, boy, and smoke image — **Macaulay Culkin** is estranged from his father, Kit Culkin, who allegedly abused his children physically and mentally. & **Lady Gaga** hasn’t been shy about too many things, least of all her long battle with mental illness. She suffered through depression and anxiety her entire life, but she has beaten her depression, and has said, “I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me. You just have to go back to that greatness, find that one little light that’s left. I’m lucky I found one little glimmer stored away.”

blonde, Lady gaga, and makeup image — **Macaulay Culkin** is estranged from his father, Kit Culkin, who allegedly abused his children physically and mentally. & **Lady Gaga** hasn’t been shy about too many things, least of all her long battle with mental illness. She suffered through depression and anxiety her entire life, but she has beaten her depression, and has said, “I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me. You just have to go back to that greatness, find that one little light that’s left. I’m lucky I found one little glimmer stored away.”

Image by 𝓡𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓼~𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓔𝓿𝓼𝓷𝓼 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓟𝓪𝓰𝓮 — **Chris Evans** has dealt with depression stemming from his debilitating anxiety. But mentioned in an interview, the one thing that calms him down and removes those distracting brain noises is simply saying "Sshh" to himself. It calms him down and reminds him of taking a deep breath and just relax. & **Anne Hathaway** revealed that in the years before her big break, she suffered from depression and anxiety. During that time, she insisted she was able to work through her anguish without assistance from medication. Thinking back to her troubled younger self, she has said, “I am sorry she was hurting for so long. It’s all so negatively narcissistic to be so consumed with self.”

Anne Hathaway, beautiful, and celebrities image — **Chris Evans** has dealt with depression stemming from his debilitating anxiety. But mentioned in an interview, the one thing that calms him down and removes those distracting brain noises is simply saying "Sshh" to himself. It calms him down and reminds him of taking a deep breath and just relax. & **Anne Hathaway** revealed that in the years before her big break, she suffered from depression and anxiety. During that time, she insisted she was able to work through her anguish without assistance from medication. Thinking back to her troubled younger self, she has said, “I am sorry she was hurting for so long. It’s all so negatively narcissistic to be so consumed with self.”

I have chosen these performers because they have suffered through several years of (heavy) emotional and physical pain, but managed to stay strong and were determined to become a happier, content human being. And even though they've been hurt or miserable they still continued working hard, being there for friends & family and tried to enjoy life in its fullest. I mean Jim Carrey was one of the biggest comedians, who was depressed but still kept making people laugh. Demi Lovato has gone through hell, and now she's in peace with herself and genuinely confident in who she is as a person 🌈🕊

Remember:

softmemes image — "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." Buddha

I hope that I could encourage you to speak up too, seek help or make you realize that you're not alone.
I still have to mention, that I am obviously not a psychologist, I just like to help people with the knowledge I already have of life.
Just, do everything in your power to remove toxic people from your life, even if it means breaking up with your best friend or leaving your family.
We're all stuck on the same boat. That's why we gotta jump ⛵ Jump off that boat and swim for your survival, until you reach the island of salvation & freedom.