They said losing someone hurts more than anything. But it doesn't. Because losing you was the easy part. One moment you are right there to draw me back to my sanity when I loose control of what's real and what's not. And then the next moment you just aren't there anymore. All that's left behind is this shadow that keeps mocking me. No, losing you was the easy part. But missing you? That's where it all goes downhill. That's where everything that used to make sense no longer does. And that stupid shadow u left behind is build up of all the memories we ever had together and everyday the shadow grows bigger. Everyday I remember more and more of you. I try to live in the memories since there, you are still with me. Everyday I anticipate the moment this pile of memories and regret swallows me, because it will. And I am ready to be swallowed, I am ready for the shadow to drown me, I am ready to be lost. Because standing up alone is harder than falling.

So no, Losing someone isn't hard at all. Missing someone is what really rips you apart. Knowing that no matter how much you dwell on the past that's all it will ever be. The past. Knowing that no matter how much I miss you, you will never miss me. Realising that once again I was in too deep I was leaning way too much and now that you are gone I have nowhere to lean on. I guess its my fault for always giving more than I have within me and expecting the same. And when they leave they take every single piece of me with them. And i'm left hallow. Im left empty. Im left behind.

-missing you