This poetry is from darling my stars are falling, which is a blanket term I use for all my poetry.

I got some positive feedback on my last two posts so I thought I would give you some more!!

Like I say every time; I have heaps of this on standby, so if you want to read more, or even just want to know the story behind any of these then just message me!!!

Disclaimer: I am by no means claiming I am a good writer, I just like to over-share my feelings and I find this is a good way to do it.
Most of this was written at a time when I was very deeply unhappy, this work definitely reflects that.
So if this makes you sad, or you don't like it or want to read it because of that, I understand completely and I am thankful you took the time to even click on this article :)

Most of the writing doesn't really have a name so they are numbered for separation purposes, the numbers are by no means a ranking system.

1. "Why didn't you tell your friends?"

I know I should’ve gone to my friends.

Told them,
“hey! This kid I was in love with but never told you about just broke my heart and didn’t even give me a reason why, please, just tell me that it’s not my fault.”
But I didn’t.

Instead, I drove myself to the edge of insanity re-reading text messages.
And I went through my first heartbreak all by myself because it was hurting me so badly I thought it might hurt other people.

I should’ve gone to my friends because they are supposed to love me.
But if all love does is hurt people than who am I to ask them to care?

Who am I to ask people to help hold me together when everyone else holds themselves together just fine,
who am I to act like I’m the only one who ever hurts.

I know I should’ve gone to my friends,
because everyone tells me I’m so lucky to have them,
and I am.

I know I should’ve gone to my friends, but I didn’t know how.

2.

You don’t understand and I don’t expect you to.

I’m not even sure that I know what I’m trying to tell you.

I just want you to know how confused I am,
and how lonely it is now that you’re gone.

I just want you to know that I’m still here,
and I don’t really know how to move forward,
so I guess I’ll wait here in case you change your mind.

3.

We weren’t in love, not even close.
And I don’t think he broke my heart,
but it still hurt.

He still broke me,
he still let me down,
he still left me damaged but we weren’t in love.

And to tell you the truth it’s been years now,
but some days if still hurts.

4.

Here we are again,
putting on the same act as always.

Letting people believe everything is fine because we never give them a reason to believe otherwise.

Here we are again,
playing the same game and hoping for a different ending.

5.

You broke me and I never even got the chance to tell you.

I never got the chance to scream,
or cry,
or be angry,
or even talk about what you put me through.

You broke my fucking heart and I didn’t even get to grieve,
or have time to pick up the pieces before you were gone.

6.

Because sometimes feelings just fade.

There isn’t always a reason,
or an explanation.

Sometimes, you just wake up one day and realise that there are a million other places to find happiness then in just one person.

7.

Everything is changing and I’m not quite sure where I fit in with it all.

Everything is different now and I don’t really feel like there’s anywhere I belong.

I feel like an unnecessary piece of a puzzle; a manufacturing mistake.

And I know that it’s probably my fault,
and if I really tried hard enough I could probably cram myself in somewhere,
but I can’t help but feel like the picture looks better without me in it.

8. There is no competition

I’m not like you.
I break things and I ruin what’s good,
I can’t talk to people and it takes me too long to open up.

People get frustrated with my behaviour but I don’t change.
I always tell people I’m fine even when I want to tell them what’s wrong and I don’t know why,
my words never sound quite right and I struggle to keep my mood from ruining everyone else’s.

You’re good and you make people happy and smiley,
and you preserve beauty and inspire people.
You are, and always will be a far better person then me.

9.

Her clothes are always on your bedroom floor and there are polaroids of you stuck to her wall.

She tells you she loves you everyday and I stutter over all my words.

You kiss her even when you’re in a rush and she talks about you always.

You two are in love for everyone to see and my love is tucked away in the pages of a journal.

This silence is too loud.

I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.

I still love you.

10.

It’s not my fault that I fell in love with you and it’s not your fault you couldn’t love me back.

You never asked for my heart but I gave it to you anyway.
It’s not your fault that it got broken.

11.

I talk about you like you took my heart,
looked me straight in the eyes and threw it to the ground just to hurt me but it’s not your fault that you didn’t care.
It’s not you fault you couldn’t love me.

12.

Maybe in another life things could have been different between us.

Maybe if you stopped turning your back when things got tough and I stopped shutting out anyone who has ever loved me.

Maybe if you didn’t drink so much and I didn’t care so much.

Maybe if I could stop worrying about everything and you could learn to sympathise every now and then we would still be okay.

Maybe if we weren’t who we are we could have been perfect.

13.

I don’t think it ever really goes away,
I’ll just get better at ignoring it.
I’ll just have to pretend I don’t hear it echoing through my brain or nagging at my heart.
I’ll just get better at pretending.

14.

“We’re only kids!”
I wanted to scream until my lungs burst.

We’re kids.
We fall in and out of love everyday,
and we cry over people we can’t have,
and we pretend we don’t feel but really we cry ourselves to sleep.

_We’re only kids,
but we know pain and sadness better than anyone,
we know heartbreak as well as the lyrics to our favourite songs,
anxiety follows us like a shadow.

We’re only kids and we’re already learning to drink away problems and keep our mouths shut.

We’re only kids yet we mourn and grieve the losses of people we never even knew.

We’re only kids.

15.

And if I hurt you,
then know I am sorry.
I have never been very good at preserving beauty,
I have a habit of destroying the things I care about.

16.

Loving you was sitting on the shower floor scrubbing my skin so hard it was red for hours,
Loving you was blood on my tongue from biting my lip too much,
Loving you was silence (the bad kind).
Loving you was headaches and sleepless nights,
Loving you was hardly love at all,
But it was the most real thing I’ve ever known.

17.

But here I am despite it all.
Here I am despite the yelling and screaming.
Here I am despite the shattered glass and shattered hearts.
Here I am and I still love you.

18.

We stumble our way through dim streets like we stumble through the rest of our lives,
barely aware of the world moving around us.

I count the number of houses we pass and you step over the cracks in the concrete.

I don’t ask why you keep touching your hair and you don’t ask why I keep biting my cheek.

Your hands are cold but they still burn when they touch my skin and we are singing every song we know at the top of our lungs.

We are young and naive but we are alive.
We are alive and we are young and we are together.
That’s all that matters.

19.

The people we are today are not the people we promised each other we would be ten years ago.

I don’t know if you remember who we were going to be.

Do you ever get the feeling you're missing someone you've never met?

20.

And if this is how we are going to be for the rest of our lives then I want you to at least know that I’m not mad at you for quitting on us,
it was going to happen eventually,
and I don’t hate you for the way you avoid eye contact,
your eyes remind me of the past too much.
I don’t blame you for the way you broke my heart,
I never believed in happily ever after anyway.

That's all for today! You can check out my last two poetry articles here:

For more poetry related things try these articles!

For advice related articles see these:

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- Alex