Last night, I was sitting at my bedroom window with some ice water and the window wide open, I was staring at the sky. Correction, I was staring into the universe; not at anything but more into nothing. I love doing this. It's my favourite thing. I love thinking and when I'm at my window and the stars are out I really can. I came up with an idea about the universe, Souls and the Divine spirit. I'll try to word it:

Firstly I thought about God. Does God exist? I've thought about this a lot and have come to the conclusion that I do not believe in an omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent God, but a Divine Creator. The divine creator is infinite. Time exists solely within the universe and a being who created the universe would exist outside of it, and so she does not experience time or space for that matter. She has no age or matter.

I was thinking, the universe contains energy, only. Energy presents itself in two forms; physical (matter) and spiritual (soul.) Energy cannot be created or destroyed. But what about old versus new souls? If all souls are infinite, they must all have no age, thus, none being older or more new then the next. I came up with something.

The Divine created the universe with her mind, she also created souls from her flesh*. Souls are eternal. She creates souls but does not destroy them. She can do this because of her great power.

In the beginning, the universe was created and so were our souls. These souls were created to experience lives within the universe, over and over, through reincarnation. However, when you've lived enough lives and you are the most grown, the most spiritually evolved and the most benevolent you can be, there is no need to live another life. The universe would have no purpose if everyone in it were supremely mature, spiritual and good. When you have lived this many lives and you have reached this level, you stop living lives. Your soul has experiences alongside the divine, exterior to the universe.

Since the number of souls living lives are going down, the divine is forced to create new souls to take their places, new souls. I don't personally believe that "God" cares for us, individually. I came up with an analogy: if a mother has loads of children, they cannot constantly be with and tend to all of them. The mother would have the older children babysit the younger ones. That is what we are doing.

I am a twin and an old soul; my brother is a new soul. I believe that we are twins because I am here to help him in his early life - to babysit him almost.

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I hope that made sense. I'm not going to lie to you it's fucking hard writing out this kind of abstract thoughts in a way that even I can understand myself. If you want to message me and talk about it, or anything vaguely along these lines, don't hesitate. I love real conversations.

Love, Katelyn

*Not that a spirit has flesh per se. Like I said, there is physical energy and spiritual energy which are both completely separate and any "God" anyone believes in, I would think, would be solely spiritual. It's a metaphor really, it's like when people say we are all built from the same fabric. I just think that "we are made from divine flesh" sounds so much cooler and less cliche.