Before I begin, I wonder why it is you chose to read this article? Was the title appealing? Did it leave you curious as to what tragic backstory I have? Or perhaps the word 'heartbreak' was like a switch, all of a sudden churning a sickness in your stomach as they came to mind.

They. Them. Him. Her.

If you have experienced heartbreak, you know it.

It reminds me of love in a way, in a saddistic self deprecating way. When you are with someone you sit there and wonder if you're in love. If you say 'I think I love you' then you don't. Love isn't about thinking, its about feeling. It's raw and powerful and more precious than anything and it can consume your whole being and suddenly there is absolutely nothing that can stop it. It oozes through your body like red hot lava and leaves you completely and utterly helpless.

You know when you really love someone. You also know when that someone broke you.

So here is my Ode to Heartbreak, an old friend of mine.

Now I am no pessimist. I don't squabble in my own pity, not anymore. Perhaps you can call me a veteran, in a way. This article wasn't written in a spur of anguish, I actually sat next to my computer and decided I wanted to write. And like and old friend, heartbreak tapped on my shoulder and asked to be addressed.

I'd like for you to know that there is no time limit on love, nor heartbreak. I have seen people date for 3 months and be a wreak for years after a break up. I have seen people together for 8 years seperate and find their next love in a month. There is no time limit. Heartbreak doesn't live as long as a relationship, it's unpredictable.

If you came here looking for solace in how long you will be feeling it, I can't tell you. Instead, I am just talking about it.

Another thing I would like to add, although it may just be unhelpful, is the sick feeling doesn't really go away. Sure, it numbs, and eventually it might preside, but you're better off accepting it. And the really horrible thing about it is years after, when you don't think about them anymore and have 'moved on' and found someone new to love, it likes to poke its ugly little head back in and makes you suddenly doubt everything you have.

You cant really talk about it either you know? People will just question why you still care. And you don't care, but yet, you do. It kills you that you still care. But you hate them. Actually you don't hate them but goddddd you do! It's this constant internal war between who you are now and the person that only ever loved them.

It hurts. God it hurt. It hurts to be reminded that you weren't good enough, that they couldn't match your love. That despite how much time and effort you put in, the happiness you put aside, the people you avoided to spend time with them just wasn't quite enough.

When they find someone new, it's just rubbing salt in the wound really. Let me tell you, rebounds don't work. You need time, and trust me its worth it.

As silly as it sounds, the time just after the break up is the best you will feel for a while. You will notice that despite how many times you denied it, you did change. All your time and effort is now spent on you and it will feel great.

The gut wrenching moths will still flutter about in your stomach and you will still think about them every day and hey, you may still cry. Thats okay. It's okay to feel great but be in so much pain. There is no formula to emotion. Eventually you will only think about them every two days, then once a week, then once a month and it will get easier.

it was the second month that was the hardest for me. It was the realisation that everyone was wrong, they didn't see the mistake they made, they didn't come crawling back, that I didn't matter as much as I thought I had.

You know what though? You will rebuild your walls, and you will bandage up your wounds and you will stand up tall. You matter.

Somehow, right when you have the strength to walk alone, thats when you find someone to lean on.

It's better too. They care. You notice these things, these little things that they do that your ex never did and they mean so much. As time goes on you realise that you were never really meant for the other person, and in some twisted way you are thankful that it ended, because you never would have met the next.

No one ever really 'Moves on', so don't feel like you have to. It's okay to hurt years later. Its okay to cry. Its okay to be angry. Its okay think of them when the love of your life it standing beside you holding your hand.

It doesn't mean you still love them, but the old you did. The past demands to be remembered.

Feel no guilt for your emotions, there is no right way to break up, there is no right way to 'move on' there is only you and what you feel.

Let those feelings flow, because tomorrow or the next day it won't hurt as much, and next thing you know it will be a fleeting memory being cast over by new ones.

Perhaps you didn't really understand what I wrote, maybe I was just writing my experiences. If this gives you anything, it's to tell you that you aren't alone.

And it gets better.