I'm so used to being an overachiever.
I was one- until being one actually seemed to matter.

I was...

the third grader who beat an eighth grader in the school spelling bee for two consecutive years and made it to regionals

the fourth grader who ran a website on her love for American Girl dolls and held giveaways and reviews through sponsorships

the eighth grader who had been playing the clarinet since she was eight

I was involved in everything, and I took the hardest classes I could even when I was constantly moving schools and states.

So I ask myself now,
"What happened?"

I feel like I've not only let down myself but also my parents.
But I know I'm not being lazy.
Doors close, and new ones open.
Recently, it feels like no new opportunities have arose for me.
An hour ago, I was scrambling to finish my application for a volunteer program at my local zoo where I could work with animals and children.
After several inconveniences that I don't want to get too in detail about, I realized that I actually didn't want to do this program.
Don't get me wrong- it's clearly a great learning experience and a way to earn more volunteer hours.
I just had a feeling that this wasn't for me, and if I wanted to, I could apply next year, anyways.
I only wanted to do it because I felt like I wasn't doing enough.

Enough what, though?
It's okay to say no once in a while.

Missing an opportunity does not mean you have missed out on something.
Since we can't turn back time, that simply means it wasn't for you.

Here's to a new day, a new chance, a new door, and new opportunities.

Your activities don't determine your identity.
You get to choose who you are-
and it's not based on your grades, nor the number of clubs you're a part of.

It's not about number; it's about impact.
You don't have to do everything.
You should just do whatever has meaning to you.
It's your choice.
Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't necessarily mean doing something you're seriously against.

It's okay to say no.
Opportunities that are truly meant for you will present themselves one way or the other.


Article playlist:

Yestoday (Extended Ver.)- NCT U
To-Do List- Hyolyn
Chasing Fire- Lauv
1+1=0- Suran ft. DEAN
To My Youth- Bol4
Pluto- Sleeping at Last
Laughter- Seventeen
Been Through- EXO