”Starting as a standard letter with all these greetings and stuff will be pathetic, in a situation, when we have not talked for a week or more. I hope you are well, yet I am not. I do not really know what is happening in your brain right now, or what was going for this whole week, but I had enough time to think. I had whole 6 months or even more. I had a lot of time to be alone. Maybe I should thank you for this, who knows… We barely ever talk and meet each other, yet we tend to be lovers and sometimes we are even brave enough to say these three words: ” I love you”. But tonight, I do not love you at all. I do not hate you as well. The only thing I feel is a total emptiness in my heart. Sorry, my dear, but I can no longer feel anything. I can not lie to myself and I am not going to lie to you, either. I no longer love you. And what hurts the most, is that I have never ever been that confident in my own words. Not even when I told you that I loved you months ago.

Funny, is not it, how you were so busy with all your friends, job and life that completely forgot about my existence. Right. It is not funny at all. It is tragic. When I needed you the most, you were not here. You were never with me, but helping people who did not even need your help. It is getting harder for me to write, as the tears in my eyes are getting more and more and everything is becoming a blur, just as our relationship did.

You know what hurts the most in a relationship? One person always loves another more and sadly I was that one. I was always trying to forget all these things you did and all these words you said. They hurt me so much, but somehow I managed to forgive you, but not forget them.

Now, after six months or more, I can no longer find a reason to stay and as it is said, no reason to stay is a good reason to go.

Yes, and I will certainly do it, but I should admit, that it hurts realizing how you do not care about me at all. It hurts for me to watch our so-called relationship falling into the pieces and me being under these ruins. You do not care about me and it is the truth. You think that I will always be there for you, but here is the shocking news: No, I will not. That’s why I am writing this letter. For the first time in my life, I really want to hurt someone and sadly it is you. In the very beginning you promised me, that you would never hurt me or break my heart, as I did not deserve to be treated like that. You even killed my heart instead.

You think that it was normal for me , looking at you having fun with people while I was down in the dumps? You think it was easy for me to understand your problems about busy schedule, while I was in a hospital fighting with death? You think that it is normal to tell someone you love them and do nothing to prove it?

WORDS. I do not need none of your easy and useless words. All I ever wanted was someone who would have acted like he loved me, because with words, everything is easy, but with actions it is not. I needed someone, who would be with me, because even if I am raised as a strong and independent woman, there are moments when I break and all I want is someone to depend on.

But now, I know that you are not the best one to choose. You are not someone who can love me and maybe anyone. You do not know what is love and either you do not believe in it. I needed attention, affection, passion and love and what did I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. On my worst days I was alone and so I was on my best days too. You always tried to put a blame on me. I was always the one who was blamed for a relationship that was a mistake in the very beginning. And as for now, I learned that correcting the mistakes are still better than leaving them the way they are. You remember, how I loved when you were touching my hand? And remember the last time you did it? I took my hand back. It was an end. Once your kisses could heal me but now they became toxic. I am destroying myself with this relationship, if I can even call this so.

Please, do not ever call or text me. You had whole 6 months to do all these things, now I do not need it anymore. I do not need you anymore in my life. Just face the fact that I am leaving. I think it will not be that painful for you.

And after years, if we ever meet each other in the street, do not try to talk to me. I have nothing else to tell you. All my words, all my feelings are in these letter.

For you, I will always be that intelligent, strong, tall, brown-haired girl with an attitude but for me, you will never be a person, I fell in love with.

I always wanted to become an actress, but honestly, this is not a spectacle I want to participate in. So, I am quitting.

If you ever miss me, and I know that you will do, I will be the happiest person ever. Because after all , after my broken heart and high hopes, all I want is you to suffer.”

From_ The Girl Of Your Dreams blog