There are some kind of people, who are always weirdly punctual, you know? He is the one. He is the one for appearing in my life when I needed him the most. Believe it or not, it was an intellectual addiction at first sight and only then I fell for his appearance and character. I do believe, that falling for someone’s intelligence is the strongest kind of love. It is the most passionate and affectionate feeling you can share with anyone. I am feeling blue, as everything connected to him is blue. His shirts, his jeans, his veins on his hands and everything, just characteristically he is blue, while I am red and, maybe our connection will create some kind of unique purple color.

Meeting him was intriguing as I felt that he was hiding some things behind his shown personality. I had a feeling, that he was not as strict and ironic as he tended to be. And I was right, because I got to know him and he appeared to be the most vulnerable and soft man ever, who knows where and when to be either strict, intense or ironic. I could see a charisma in his eyes and I could also see modesty in the way he spoke. I could hear his voice and each part of my body was aching, because he was both intimidating and smart and deep inside I believed that it was the scariest combination to handle with. He could control everyone and everything and even I fell for him.

Since I met him, my life has changed. Everything changed and me myself have changed. I have become the best version of myself and I did not even notice how it happened. I wanted to look better, to be stronger and smarter, become more active, more competitive. I tried to give up on my bad habits, connected to tobacco and alcohol and I did. Without him, I would still be a girl with a messed up mind, stuck in a reality, not knowing what she lives for. And now I know. Now I know, that I live for a man who lives for another woman and, admittedly, I hate math since childhood, so “love triangle” is not really my kind of thing. I think that real love is the one which makes you change things about yourself in a good way. I had illusions before. Illusions of love, but those feelings were only bringing me down and depressing me, while I have a real love, which insists on me, to become the best version of myself. I know that I am hurting myself, but on the other hand I am changing and I can say that I need these changes most of all. I need to change the way I am, the way I feel and the way I think. He made me realize that good things happen everyday and even the most ordinary person can become the luckiest one in just one day. He is the one who made me believe in the strength of knowledge. I feel that we have so many things in common. Character and interest, privileges and taste. He is a person, I could listen nonstop and if I say that generally I am a talker, not a listener, I think it makes a sense.

After knowing him for months, I still fall for him each day when I meet him and talk to him. His voice is something that I will never be able to resist. Each word he says is so important to me but sadly I can not really concentrate well, while being around him. The only thing I know is that he is the right one for me, at the right place and at the right period of time, but I can not have him. However, he managed to do the things, that no one else could. He changed me to better and I am still changing. Each day I feel that something really important has changed inside me and it feels so good, knowing that it is progress, not regress and it is because of him. Loving him has brought me to my knees and I am not that arrogant girl with an attitude anymore. I have become softer and everyone can see it. They ask me what the reason is, but I can not explain, because the only reason is a man, whose love is blue. A man, whose hands and fingers are like work of art and whose eyes are deep like a Pacific Ocean. A man, whose lips look like Michael Pitt’s and whose voice is the best melody, you can ever listen to.

Loving him is blue. Day after day I am getting bluer and bluer. But sadly the time we met each other is not right. It is either already too late or still too early, who knows?

From_ The Girl Of Your Dreams blog