social media makes relationships look easy. news flash, they're not. relationships are hard, a lot of work, time, and commitment. from my experience i've only been in one relationship but it teaches me everyday. so i'm going to try and tell you everything that i've learned not only from my personal relationship, but from my parents, and friends.

a few reminders

  • COMMUNICATE! my boyfriend and I are still working on this. you need to tell your partner how you are feeling (which i am extremely bad at) your partner is not a mind reader and neither are you. you need to be clear and honest.
  • be open-minded: things are going to happen and you need to see all of the sides to understand your partner and where they're coming from.
  • patience- do not be so quick to misjudge your partner or the situation. also, don't be quick to anger because your emotions will not help arguments or talking with them.
  • you are a team!- you are not supposed to be against your partner, you both are working together.
  • don't be afraid to love- with your whole self if your partner deserves it.
  • but don't accept the love you think you deserve- you are not hard to love. yes, relationships themselves are hard but not you or your partner.
  • set boundaries- make sure you are both comfortable with things and always have consent!
  • give each other space- sometimes it's hard. i admit that being w my boyfriend all the time is great and you feel happy. but sometimes i tend to be too attached and he needs times w his friends or family to relax. same for me.
  • intimacy- it's not always sex. it can be small acts of affection or even inside jokes. and sex of any kind is not always the requirement. i think that sex does connect differently than anything else, but sometimes you aren't ready for it. you both need to be comfortable and ready even if it takes months, a year, or even five. if your partner really wants to be with you and respect you or vice versa, then you both need to be as a team during these moments. don't feel bad if you aren't ready or if you're scared; good things do take time and need to be healthy.

no relationship is perfect. i've known this since i was a kid, but some relationships are not healthy so be aware. keep loving.

☼☼☼

jill