Step one: Lie to yourself that you can't love;
Step two: Ignore the people you love and push them away;
Step three: Do you feel proud of yourself yet?;
Step four: Regret everything you said and done;
Step five: Congratulations! You did it, are you feeling any better now when you have nobody by your side ?

Have you ever felt like you are out of place. Like when you are at a party but don't know anyone . Or being at a concert and feel confused because you never heard of the songs...
Well lately thats the way I feel quite a lot. Talking to my friends, my family or anyone. Family dinners are more like a duty than a nice feeling. And going out, partying with my friends is like being underwater and nobody can hear you but you don't feel the need to scream or breathe ...just to disappear.
I stayed at home today. Yestarday too. And the other day. I was not feeling sick just tired. But not the kind of tired when you were at work all day or you went to the gym and sweat your ass out. The kind of tired that you haven't done anything productive today except sleeping but sleeping isn't enough enymore to charge you with energy. And there is no battery saver mode .
You start going out again because you are getting tired even listening to your family talking about how lazy you are but the truth is that going out of your bed is exhausting. But that's okay now that you are outside there is nobody talking you. My question is how long a person can stay alone with his own thoughts without them killing him ? It's not that long as you thing I promise you. At first you're all good by yourself but then the loneliness slowly becomes your enemy not good friend as it used to be.

At that point you understand that you're really, really alone. No friends, no family, no peace, no freedom and everything you gave up on is no longer there you start to think that was a mistake . And here are they! You thought they're gone but they are here. Not at the same form but still give you the comfort you had before. Now your friend is the anxiety everywhere you go. Your family is the depression every time you think of home and the peace you had long time ago is replaced by the dark and loud chaos you've always tried to ignore .

How are you feeling now ? Is it worth the price? Your life is totally ruined all by yourself and that's because your belief in love at any kind is shattered a little bit.

You should try and do something before your world falls apart because you can save it . Be your own hero. It's not too late for you !