---- Tonight I wanted to clear my head but all I have is my laptop instead of my diary. That is the reason why I'm writing here. -----

Today was a strange day. I woke up around ten and immediately started studying. After that, I started to get ready for an Easter lunch at my grandparent's. My whole family was there, but there was this weird vibe. It was really awkward to be all together again after the big fight. I stayed strong and faced the terrible vibe in the room and tried to make the best of it.

After a couple of hours, we went home. When I came home, I had this feeling like I could cry for hours. I went to my room and didn't come out of it for a couple of hours. I tried to study again to ignore my awful thoughts but I couldn't do anything about it. You were constantly in my head. I don't know why? I haven't thought about you for weeks and all of a sudden you're back.

I kept thinking about your smile, god I loved your smile. I secretly still do. I kept thinking about how your smile is her favourite thing now instead of mine. I kept thinking about you being with her. The thought of you saying the things to her you used to say to me are making my mind go insane.

I want to believe that if the timing was different, I would still be your number one. But here I am, crying while writing this, while you are probably with her. I still can't forget about you. I still can not give it a place that you chose her above me. I don't want to believe that everything you did and said to me were lies. I can't believe it. But yet, everything was all one big lie.

Deep down I hope that one day you will regret everything and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't take you back if you asked me to.