I don‘t have a lot of friends. In fact I have one single friend. No other people to hang out with, no other people to text or just simply talk to. When I want to go somewhere, I mainly go by myself.
Luckly, I almost feel comfortable with this.
I eat dinner alone, I go shopping alone, I go on walks alone and I go to the art gallery alone. I travel alone and I get drunk alone.
But... I feel lonley too. Very lonley to be more specific.

Lonliness is so much more than sitting at school alone and feeling sad about it.
Being lonley makes you feel powerless. And worthless too.
You lose apetite and you feel too tired to do anything at all.
But what people never tell you when talking about lonliness is that it hurts physical.
It is a burning in your cheast. It feels like someone is trying to choke you to the point you feel dizzy.
The inside of you feels cold, not even warm socks help.
Your arms hurt too much to move and your legs hurt too.

And the worst thing, the worst thing of it all is that it never fades. It‘s always present.
At school, at work, in the metro, in the grocery store, while wathcing TV or at an family event. While reading, while drinking a glass of water, while just looking outside the window. It is always there. Even when you surrounded by people who talk to you, you just look at them, maybe even smile and you still feel lonely. No to talk about the horrible thoughts you get, but maybe that‘s just me.

It also never gets better and with time you lose any hope that it ever will. You can't trust people, because they'll all disappoint and leave you anyway right ?

However, you gotta move on and live. What ever will happen, will happen. Even if nothing changes and nothing happens at all.