when it was done and over,
there was so much anger in me.

i want to go back to the beginning,
before i had ever met you.
when i felt nothingness.

i couldn't comprehend why people loved when it would only end in pain.
the adults in my life being played and tortured over it,
or trying to play love but you can't hide its abuse.

i was absolutely numb.
boys were out of my mind and only working my ass off to get out of our tiny, fucked to absolute hell, town.

when i was with you,
i understood everything.
and afterwards, it all makes sense.

love is a powerful thing that will break and make you.
it makes us so human,
something i really wasn't.

i still can't cry,
but when i think of you;
the old you that actually loved me and that i loved.
i cry as if someone has died,
and someone has.

my past, numb, self
who is sleeping soundly with you,
the boy who used to sing me the blues;
just like we did.