Dear mommy…

I’m 23 now. I don’t get bullied. I’m not alone anymore and I have a lot of wonderful friends.

I love my body and now it doesn’t matter you called me fat when I was overweight. My waist is now tiny and I have pretty little stomach and even my abs are showing. Everyone tells me I look like a model. I’m not a “fat pig” anymore. I’m not any of those names you called me. I’m not a failure. I’m not a burden. And I’m not an embrion you should have aborted, like you said.

Mommy, boys like me. I’m not ugly duckling anymore. I’m positive and funny.

Mommy, mommy, look! My hair is long and curly, even though you punished me for a bad grade and cut it short.

I’m not bulimic anymore, and even it still takes a lot of strength to stand in front of the mirror and call myself pretty, it gets easier each day.

Mommy, I’m not ugly, like you said. I’m not unwanted like you said. I’m not lonely like you said I will be. Wherever I go, people like me and show me love.

Mommy! I’m no longer an outsider at school! I’m a popular girl now. People like me and they love my personality – they say I’m a good person and my heart is pure.

Mommy, I’m not a liar anymore! I don’t have to hide bad grades from you anymore, because now you can’t punish me or insult me!
Look, mommy, look! Look how I dance! I dance at the parties from the bottom of my heart – even you crushed my biggest dream and stop paying for my dancing lessons because you find out that I had a boyfriend at age of 14.

I no longer cry at night and go to lunch break at school alone. I no longer feel empty because you love my brother more. I even love him more.

I’m sorry you’re jealous of me. I’m sorry you envy me. I’m sorry you used to put me down in front of others when someone says nice things about me. I see you giving me looks and getting angry inside when someone tells me I’m pretty in front of you.

I no longer have to apologize when you hurt me because of feeling guilty for making you feel bad.

Mommy, I’m happy! I’m no longer depressed. I cry sometimes but it helps me. Mommy, I’m healing! I’m no longer suicidal, and when my friend was going through that shit, I wasn’t laughing at him, like you did to me.

I don’t know what I feel for you. I don’t hate you, mommy. You gave me this miracle called life. But I never lived it how I wanted until I turned 21.

I know what love is, but I didn’t learn it from you.

I gave love to life and life loved me back.

I dedicate this lyrics to my mom.