Chapter one
who I am

I am teenager girl my name is pain it is weird name I know but my parents chose this name cause they thought it describes me they believe that every person must have unique name that describes his own life and that was describing mine and they were right , my mum suffered very much when she was pregnant when she was carrying me inside her she was trying to survive for the nine months , no one ever could imagine how my mum was she was very weak and pale she could hardly remember my father and my older sister and brother, it was a very hard time as they told me the doctors told her to get rid of me but she refused she preferred to keep me with the pain instead of leaving a part of her soul away as you see I was a pain from the days before my birth as my name so my parents did not make a huge mistake when they gave me this name ,my name describes me from the day that my eyes saw the light until the day that they will see nothing except darkness until my death , I am not ashamed of my name cause I believe in my parents' thoughts although their thoughts maybe little tough and I think that my name is not just a word without meaning but it more than this I think it is unique one and I am proud of it and I hope one day to scream out loud and say " My name is pain and I am not ashamed " but maybe my pain has no place in this world cause it is like a joke in people eyes and even my parent prefer to call me " Bella " but I do not like it cause it does not describe me as my real one , how could one like me know the meaning of beauty ? Cause the word beauty has different standards in people eyes and I cannot be that one who has a pretty face and adorable body but for me I think that the beauty is difficult equation like the one in physics, to be pretty you have to have pure heart, clear mind and free soul.