I don't want to talk about what happened. I used to think about the situation over and over again, I talked with my friends about it, I cried about it, however the result was the same. I can't change the facts. So was it worth it? All my of thoughts, all of my words and conversations and energy? The answer is quite simple: NO, it didn't worth it.
The only thing that is valuable, is that I've learnt how to live. I wasn't just breathing during that time, I was alive and this is the only reason I don't regret anything. It's not that I had fun. I didn't have fun, actually the bad moments were many more than the good ones. But it's what I previously told. I felt alive. I had feelings. Love, anger, jealousy, suspense. Did I make a mistake? No, of course not. I had an experience, which made me to get to know my self a little bit better. Maybe I lost some things on the way. Maybe my parents can't trust me as they did, maybe my friends saw clearly all my weaknesses, while they thought I was the stronger person that they've ever met. I believed that everything was my fault and that there is something with me that makes people walk away. I'll just wait for a person who will love me the way I am.
However, I've realised that now I'm more honest than I ever was. I do whatever I want to, whenever I want to. I feel free. Not absolutely, but I'm close to it. My next step will be travelling. I want to travel, to meet people who are brand new and who treat like I'm brand new. I don't want them for love stories. I want them to make memories, whatever those memories will may be. I'm not sure that I'll be allowed to, as I'm a bit young for travelling solo, but it's one of my greatest desires.
All in all, you're never damaged. You are stronger and wiser because of the "mistakes" you've made. (Let's call them unenviable experiences, I'm not fond of the term mistake) You shouldn't be afraid of the fact that someday you'll may be hurt. You learn about yourself, you experience life. Don't waste your time considering about why things turned out in a certain way. Keep the nice things. Keep your lessons and the moral of your story .