If you have social anxiety, you probably already know what I'm going to talk about in this article.
I'm going to talk about it alright.

I've got quite a few issues, you see. But this one makes my life HELL.
So here are a few things that happen to me due to my social anxiety:

1. I hate eye contact

I despise it. I know I probably don't have one solid reason behind this, but I just can't stand to look people in the eyes. Ever had been forced to maintain eye contact with someone who's forced to maintain eye contact with you because you're doing it too? Ugh. It doesn't matter if its friendly eye contact or someone just straight out glaring at my weird ass. Eyes are... intimidating. It's just too difficult for me to talk with-them-eyes-at-me, okay?

2. Phone glued to my hand 24/7.

Yeah yeah, I'm a millennial. But that's not the only reason behind my phone always being glued to my hands! I get extremely nervous in the public and I have to HAVE my phone with me, always available for me to just bend my neck and stare at it for hours. And sometimes I'm not even scrolling thru any apps or doing anything in it. The device itself is like a gateway for me to escape for a little while. Sounds super weird, but it's the truth.

3. Avoid Social Stuff

I would really like it if no one ever invited me to a party lol. I don't do social gatherings. I just can't. I get all fidgety and nervous and sweat and it gets hot and cold and dizzy....just messy! I don't do "small talks". I dread social interactions. Everyday stuff like going to class or a cafe, restaurant or even just buying myself a dress is challenging.

4. A Genuine Hatred for People Who Call Me

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Phones are not for making calls/receiving calls for me. I would rather text you 1500 words than call you and "talk" to ya about it! Phone calls are really bad, guys. I get so nervous, I don't know what to say, how to say it while not making me sound like a jerk- it's a strenuous job. I work myself up over a simple "calling people to let them know/do” stuff.Sometimes when I have random people calling me at random times, I freak out internally and don’t receive the calls. I know. I'm weird af.I had a lot of trouble for this, as you can imagine.

5. Find it really hard to talk to somebody attractive. Few of you probably will be able to relate to this one. UGH

6. Freezing up during a presentation or speech. DON''T EVEN REMIND ME. That horrible moment when you're just one minute into a solo presentation in front of a hundred adults and you suddenly forget that point. Yup. That's me. ALWAYS. In every presentations.

so yeah. This is me. This is what I live with. I have to manage this and struggle and fight everyday to survive. But I don't really fit in among you, the people. So I've stopped trying to fit in.

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(In case you're confused why I talk about real stuff like this online, I can only talk about things that I know. Things that happened to me irl. Because believe it or not, talking about these things help.If you can relate with me, great! If you can't, it's okay. ) italic.