hey.

i fell in love with you in such a young age, 11. who would have thought that the simple adoration i had for you will make me like this?

you hurt me so much.

you make me feel so flawed.

you make me feel unwanted.

but why? the butterflies in my stomach still gets crazy for you, my heart misses you a lot, my mind hates you but still thinks about you, and most especially myself cannot get over you.

i never had you.

you were never mine.

and thats the issue.

what did 'she' do to have you? what beauty does she have? what characteristics does she have that i lack? whats with me that you can never like?

i lied.

i lied to myself.

all along i knew everything wrong about me. i know myself well.

you dislike everything about me.

i am too different from those girls out there.

for now,

i'll find myself first than finding ways of having you.

i'll love myself more than loving someone who detest me so much.

i'll fix myself but not for you..

finally,

its for myself.