It’s been a long time since I’ve felt happiness. All I feel is the sad and alone emotion that everyone should fear. I lie awake at night, mind running on no one…just the blame and the fault. I do this to myself. I throw away my life when I enter the darkness…I go to a dark abyss known to me as my mind. Where I have no friends, or family, or even the feeling of safety. I count my sins and I count my scars. Throwing away not just my past but the future as well. The choices breaking my spine as I try to climb, to the top I will never reach. The image in my head of my mother as she weeps keeps me sane and keeps me vain. Skipping rocks across the crystal clear life I once lived, stuck now in a box with no locks wishing I could just go back to throwing rocks…