I know you hate me. I know that every time you look at me you think of him, and maybe you think that he cheated on you with me. But you couldn’t be more wrong. First of he never loved me and he probably never will, and I know that while that makes me sad it should make you happy. He will never think of me the way I want. You will always be in his brain and you will always be the person he thinks of when he gets drunk.

Does it hurt? Fuck yes it does. I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, but over all I can see why he would choose you over me any day. You have to believe me when I say that, he could be drunk at three in the morning and you would be the only thing in his mind. I once asked him if he still loved you and he said yes. So while I understand that you hate me for being there with him, I can´t help but want to scream in your face. I want to tell you how much you messed up, even though I did too, the thing is you could’ve had him. He was there, served up for you, amazing smile and beautiful brown eyes, along with a dash of incredible personality. But you were naïve, you let him go thinking that he did not love you. Assuming his lack of presence was the problem, listening to third parties and not to your own heart. It’s true what they say about you, you are an amazing girl, you love your friends, so much, that you forgot to love him.

So I want to give you an advice, from broken girl to hurt girl, believe in him and not everyone else. If you loved him, if you still love him, get him, because I know for a fact he still wants you. Yes he does, and no I don’t hate you like you do me, but it stings a little. So pardon me for not being your biggest fan, but I do want him happy, and if his happiness is with you, then so be it. Be with him and make him smile on the most horrible days, make him feel like he can stand on top of the world and that he can achieve anything, because you and I both know he can.

Ill step aside, I won’t talk to him if that’s what you want, even though that will hurt me more than him choosing you. I have to accept my destiny, I have to accept that I won’t be the person he will smile at every time his day is going well. That I won’t have coffee with him in the mornings and talk about the future, he won’t ever get to find out why sometimes I can’t fall asleep and I won’t know why he smokes so much on some occasions. So you have to do all this things. You have to be able to brighten his day when his about to cry, and yes, you will have fights with him, but I want to believe that you’ll both be able to put aside your differences and be happy.

So yes I know you hate me, but you are his one love, I was just a friend who happened to fall in love with a boy whose heart was already occupied by the pretty girl with beautiful brown hair. Even though he was always clear with his feelings.