You call me 'loner'
with harmful intentions
but, darling, don't you know,
there's nothing in the world I'd rather be than
alone

You think I'm so trustworthy as you let yourself be blinded by my smiles; maybe you don't care enough to ask,
or maybe I've become better at hiding it

All I've ever known is a dreadful desire to close my eyes and never have to reopen them again, all I've ever known is hiding behind a facade of smiling and being perfectly fine,
matter not if I'm falling apart

But
that means I've learned how to fight,
and I've learned to survive,
even if that's not what I intend to do

So maybe one day I'll walk triumphantly away from this, or
I'll let it devour me completely

So far, it's only been the latter.

- i.s.