I... feel guilty, can´t say why I do but it is not letting me sleep at night because every time I think about it, my heart pounds painfully and keeps me awake even when I´m tired to the bone. I don´t know how to get rid of the pain since is something I've already been told to not feel guilty about but I just can't help it, it doesn´t help either the fact that I have feelings I don't wanna have and a couple years ago I literally banned myself from feeling it but at the same time it´s gorgeous even if I feel guilty...

God, if this thing makes no sense, I´m sorry, I´m really sleepy for all of that, yes, it wasn't a metaphor but for some reason I do want to write a poem or something, dk why that was a pretty random wish, prolly because I was reading some minutes ago.

ah... anyway.